Round One to Red Sox: Yankees Lose Two of Three in Boston

Maybe I should have written “Phil Hughes?  Who are the Yankees Kidding?” instead of the Ian Kennedy article?  How awful was that first inning? 

3rd Inning: Damon’s pretending it’s 2004.  He’s getting on base, stealing bases, and looking healthy.  Of course, only against the Red Sox.  He’s still garbage against everyone else. 

3-1 Red Sox, by the way.

3rd Inning:  Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2008 New York Yankees!  Phil Hughes goes three innings, throws something like 400 pitches, and gives up seven runs. 

Fantastic outing for the other guy they wouldn’t trade for Santana.

4th Inning:  Joe Morgan is driving me insane, almost as insane as Dice-K is driving me.  Up six runs, just throw strikes!  OK, up three runs…point remains the same.  THROW STRIKES! 

5th Inning:  It’s going to be a long, long season if Dice-K continues pitching like the 2007 Dice-K.  

6th Inning:  The floodgates are getting ready to open.  Aardsma has entered the game.  Ladies and Gentlemen, the Red Sox middle relief!  No lead is safe…EVER!

7th Inning: Shows what I know.  Aardsma goes two strong, working around two walks in the sixth.  I’m impressed.  Let’s make him the new Mike Timlin. 

8th Inning:  If the White Barry Bonds could hit against Mike Timlin every night he’d actually put up Barry Bonds-like numbers.  Good God, Timlin is awful.  Can’t we retire him?  He can go live in Idaho with Billy Buckner.

My God, that ball was crushed. 

8th Inning:  Coco Crisp is trying to get back into my good graces by bunting for hits, stealing bases, and being a general pest once he gets on base.   By the way, kudos to Girardi for both losing the DH for the rest of the game (very Jimy Williams-like) and replacing his catcher with a guy who’s not allowed to throw.

I’m loving the Joe Girardi Yankees.

9th Inning: I was just informed by the tremendous duo of Joe Morgan and Jon Miller that Paps and Okie are both unavailable tonight.  Let’s just say the three run lead got a little scarier.

9th Inning: A save by Manny Delcarmen?  Striking out Mr. April in the middle of his favorite month?  Winning with no Ortiz or Mike Lowell in the lineup? 

Final Score: Red Sox 8, Yankees 5

 

What a weekend!   The Red Sox are the best team in baseball!  Bring on the Indians!

(I told you, Red Sox fans are insane.)

I’m SeanMC.

 

SeanMC is a Senior Writer at Bleacher Report. His archive can be found here. You can find everything he writes, including articles for other publications, here.

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