In no particular order.

1. U.S. arena scheduling: Yanni likes

2. Versus telecasts: unwatchable 

3. ESPN: hockey-haters

4. Bettman: anti-Canadian

5. Atlanta and Nashville fans: clueless

6. Jack Edwards: jack-ass

7. All other FSN announcers: uber-homers

8. Florida (GO Gators!)

9. Tennesse (GO Vols!)

10. Arizona (GO Cats!)

11. Georgia (GO Tech!) 

12. Callers to NHL Live: oxygen-deprived

13. Barry Melrose: star-struck

14. Wayne Gretzky: sun-stroked

That is all.