There is nothing better in this world then an NHL playoff game 7.  Wait, I just remembered.  This is better.
 

‘nice Zambonis’
 
 
Let me be the first to thank The Count for giving us both game 7s in one night.  Nice job Bettman.  
 
Now let me be the first of many to agree that’s he’s an unmitigated assclown for having them on at essentially the same time.  Eddie Shore, and the crack DBB investigative team, obtained this transcript from the NHL league offices, about how their programming decision went down.
 
Exec1:  ‘We have 2 game 7s.  What should we do TV-wise?’
Exec2:  ‘Does it matter, no one watches VS, including us’
(PAUSE for laughter)
Exec3:  ‘I don’t even have it on my cable package’
(more laughter)
Exec2:  ‘What does Gary von Gary think?  Is he here yet?’
Exec1:  ‘Yeah, I saw the short bus drop him off an hour ago.  Here he is.’
GvG:  ‘Let’s put them on at the same time, while we watch my former employer, the NBA.  That way, when something happens in either, with a bad officiating call, or a late elbow, we have plausible deniability.  We can say we were watching the other game.’
Janitor:  ‘But Mr. Bettman, what if something crazy happens in both games, and fans want league reaction.  They will know you weren’t watching either.’
GvG: ‘Excuse me. That’s why you’re a janitor. And I’m ruining what once was a great sport, and is now the 11th major’.
Janitor: ‘You’re a habitual moron.’
GvG: ‘Thanks.  But I’m not really a fan of Montreal’s team’
 
 So now that we got that squared away, here, from a real hockey fan, and admitted Wings fan, are 7 reasons that Detroit will win tonight.
 
1)  They have outplayed the Ducks
The beauty of the NHL playoffs is that the better team, home team, team with more shots and depth doesn’t always win.  Ask San Josie.  But in a 7 game series, the team that plays better usually wins.  And Detroit has outplayed Anaheim for 4.5 of 6 games. You could argue all that says it’s gonna be Anaheim, but they beat the Sharks cuz they played better, not cuz they were lucky.
 
2)  Better Uniforms
This isn’t a Detroit thing.  This is a hockey thing.  Eddie Shore loves all original 6 unis, and most of the rest of the league has sweet sweaters. But the Ducks? You can lose the mighty, but you’re still named after a bad Emilio Estevez movie and those unis blow.  

3) Gary Bettman thinks the OC would be a better TV draw
Of course he always thought the league would be better off without ESPN.  He also has an ad campaign that says catch ‘every minute’ of the playoffs on VS, when not every game is on VS.  And the next time this guy knows what he’s talking about will be the first.  Add all that up, and the Count loses again.

4) Detroit natives
This is not the ‘I hope MSU wins the Final Four, because it would be good for the city of Detroit’ sappy sentiments.  Actually it is, but just slightly different.  As a Detroit native, Eddie Shore doesn’t want the nation’s sympathy.  You Detroit bashers can bash all you want, and I’ll join in on the Lions with you.  Every city deserves to take heat, and people from Detroit can take it.  This is purely a conversational thing.  It would be nice for Detroiters to have 6 weeks where the 1st answer to ‘how you doing’ is, ‘how bout the wings?’.  Instead of ‘Our ex-mayor is a joke. They closed another plant.  I saw a house for sale for 30 cents’.  The Wings can break up that monotony.

5)  Pavel will step up
Stars step up. Ovi stepped up.  Syd stepped up more.  Pavel is a legit MVP candidate, and Eddie Shore has as many goals as he does.  That’s not gonna continue.  Some guys choke in the playoffs, and some guys play well but haven’t put one on the board yet.  Pasha is a when, not if, guy.

6)  NBC Coverage of the Cup Finals
The nation deserves the unintended comedy of the Stanley Cup Finals coverage, by the same network that butchered the Winter Classic.  Eddie Shore needs to see Bob Costas pretend he likes hockey by giving it 30-35 baseball analogies at intermission.  Plus, for you non-Detroit hockey fans, you need to see the b-roll footage of downtown Detroit.  Notice 2 things:  1) no people.  It’s amazing really. 2) the People Mover (Detroit’s version of a subway.  Did you know it only goes in ONE direction.  Nice mass transit.  Even Disney World’s monorail runs both ways.  But not the Motown L.  High comedy.

7)  Original 6 Logic
Follow my logic. Detroit is playing at home. Anaheim is trying to beat the top 2 seeds in the Western Conference, back to back.  Slapshot is one of the best movies ever made.  I think I made my point.  Wings 5 Ducks 3. 

For more Eddie Shore, check out http://www.dbbsports.com/ (breaking balls every day).