If you do something wonderful make sure Candace Parker isn't around. Being successful with her in the vicinity is likely to get you a quick visit from the medical staff.
Fox Sports spotted the one video that should have you nostalgic for the times when athletes were satisfied with high-fives.
With about 50 seconds to go in the first of what would be two overtimes against the Tulsa Shock, the Los Angeles Sparks were off and running on a fast break.
The ball finds its way into the hands of Nneka Ogwumike, who scores put the Sparks up by three.
Parker then goes full Bonk's Adventure and smashes her teammate with one of the most violent hugs in sports history. While we have no way to check that, we will assume it is because Ogwumike begins bleeding down the left side of her face.
The video is a little shaky you say? Well here is a better view thanks to a tweet from Lynn Ann Searcy.
Meanwhile Candace Parker did this tonight on accident while celebrating. http://t.co/kzgLamfw5v— Lynn Ann Searcy (@TatyanaJenene) August 26, 2013
Friends don't let friends headbutt one another.
Because it seems necessary, we should probably lend but a little bit of advice on proper celebration hugging. The first—and really only—rule is that you don't lead with the head. Now just to be on the safe side, we should tell Parker not to lead with her fists or elbows either.
In fact, Parker is now forbidden to hug teammates for the remainder of the season.
However, bleeding foreheads seem to be good luck, because the Sparks would go on to beat the Shock in double overtime, 90-88.
Parker hit a shot with 5.7 seconds to go in the game to give her team the win. We will assume the Sparks immediately looked for helmets.
Hit me up on Twitter like a Parker headbutt: