Ryan Theriot: The Latest Likely Steroid User

TAB BAMFORD by Written on May 13, 2009
CHICAGO - MAY 02: Ryan Theriot #2 of the Chicago Cubs hits a triple in the 2nd inning against the Florida Marlins on May 2, 2009 at Wrigley Field in Chicago, Illinois. The Cubs defeatewdf the Marlins 6-1. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images) (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Holy Brady Anderson, Batman!

After squeaking four balls over major league fences in over 1,100 at bats between 2007 and 2008 combined, Chicago Cubs shortstop Ryan Theriot now has five in less than 130 in 2009. He is on pace to hit 20 home runs this season; coming into this season he had seven in his career.

There has been a noticeable growth spurt from the lovable middle infielder over the past year that, in light of his recent power streak, shouldn't go without note. Though considered a smaller, skinny player throughout his career, he was the second biggest player in the Cubs infield on Wednesday evening.

Let me define "second biggest" for you: Theriot is listed at 5'11'' tall and 175 pounds. Mike Fontenot (5'8", 170) and Ryan Freel (5'9", 180) played second and third bases respectively, on Wednesday.

Also consider the following names: Carlos Delgado, Matt Holliday, Josh Hamilton, Chipper Jones, Paul Konerko, David Wright, and Garrett Atkins. All power-hitting All Star players. None have hit five home runs yet.

But here is Theriot, sitting at a lofty position tied for 31st in the National League in home runs on May 13.

Not too far in the future will be a notice from Bud Selig's office requesting a urine sample. Just after that, no doubt, will be a phone call from Scott Boras.

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Vote Now! - Author Poll

Do you think Ryan Theriot is on steroids?

  • Heck yeah! Look at that dome; where do they find that huge helmet? Is that Kevin Mench playing short for the Cubs?
  • Juice? Maybe Jamba Juice!
  • No, there's no way The Riot is using. Tab's crazy.
vote to see results
Results - Author Poll

Do you think Ryan Theriot is on steroids?

  • Heck yeah! Look at that dome; where do they find that huge helmet? Is that Kevin Mench playing short for the Cubs?

    19.0%
  • Juice? Maybe Jamba Juice!

    18.0%
  • No, there's no way The Riot is using. Tab's crazy.

    63.0%
  • Total votes: 300
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written on May 13, 2009 Humor

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