Luis Suarez Shops at Costco, Manages Not to Bite Fellow Customers
Luis Suarez is a card-carrying member of Costco, which means he enjoys rotisserie chicken and house-sized bags of Doritos like the rest of us.
According to 101 Great Goals, images of the Liverpool star shopping at a local Tesco recently went viral, because fans apparently love seeing superstars doing normal stuff. If that were the case, Suarez eating a hot dog outside the store would shut down the Internet altogether.
If you thought he was getting off light, take a gander at Suarez posing in much the same way we frustrated shoppers do when visiting Costco.
Have you ever been to a Costco right before a major holiday? It's as if the zombie apocalypse was announced and the entire community is there to stock up on liquor and tubs of assorted nuts.
Forget trying to get your hands on those delicious cakes and pies before Christmas, because the scene surrounding the bakery resembles WWE's Royal Rumble. The only thing missing might be chairs to the face or leaps from the top rope.
The worst part of a visit, of course, is that you have to walk with the brutally slow right-left cadence of a wedding procession, albeit with an over-sized basket in front of you. That's because Costco customers like two things: bulk items and standing in the middle of the aisle with a vacant look on their faces.
Oh, and hitting the back of my shins with their baskets, so make that three things. Wait, damn, four things, because I forgot to mention samples.
While shopping for a pallet of turkey meatballs, customers lose their collective minds over absurdly small portions of free food. The best part is they approach each station as if what is being served is the most delicious delicacy ever created. Oh, what are these? Crackers with cheese? I've never heard of them!
So, yes, Suarez is making millions and gets some time off for biting another human, but he is being punished in the most fitting way: shopping for items in Costco.
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