It’s a rock-solid fact: If you’ve ever played pick-up basketball, you have been one of these guys.
Dude Perfect is back, and in lieu of gifting the world with another amazing trick-shot video, the dudes are hashing out the mishmash of personalities present on every court where people play pick-up basketball together.
Titled “Stereotypes: Pick-up Basketball,” the video runs the gamut of characters you’ll typically find hooping it up at your local gym—and if you’re a pick-up basketball type of guy, it’s probably the funniest thing you’ll see today.
One by one, Dude Perfect goes down the line, nailing all the classics.
First up is Mr. Excuses, a.k.a. the guy who “just lifted,” and cannot manage to even draw backboard with his jumper. He’s also the guy who “hasn’t played in forever,” although you saw him at the courts last week. Mr. Excuses spends a lot of time practicing his follow through in between possessions.
Dude Perfect also touches on “The Football Player,” who plays defense by form-tackling you in the paint. He doesn’t dribble, so much as just lower his head and drive his skull into your sternum. Fouls are for cat lovers and communists in the Football Player’s mind—and he doesn’t think you own any felines.
Other great stereotypes include the “My Bad” guy, who cannot stop apologizing, and the “Looks Can Be Deceiving” guy, who walks onto the court like LeBron James but hoops like Darko Milicic with a calcium deficiency.
Best of all may be the Player Coach, who spends most of his time pointing and screaming out plays none of you have ever worked on. The Player Coach believes he’s controlling a video game, and if you cut when he wants you to “banana swirl,” he’ll let you know. He’s not trying to be a jerk; he just wants you to learn something.
Well-played, Dude Perfect. You gents never fail to entertain. You’ll have to excuse my tears, however, because I just realized I was the “My Bad” guy, and I may be scarred for life.
Banana swirl over to Twitter and join me.