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What If Footballers Changed Their Names Like Maria Sugarpova?

Ryan BaileyFeatured ColumnistAugust 21, 2013

What If Footballers Changed Their Names Like Maria Sugarpova?

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    Changing one's name for sponsorship purposes is all the rage these days.

    Last week, Farnborough FC's entire squad decided to change their names as part of a deal with an attention-seeking bookmaker, while occasional tennis player Maria Sharapova yesterday announced that she would become 'Maria Sugarpova' in light of a premium confection endorsement, according to Yahoo! Sports.

    The Sugarpova name has since been quashed, but it got us thinking: What if professional footballers changed their names to suit sponsorship deals? Here are 10 ideas we came up with...

Benoit Assou-Ecostco

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    Benoit Assou-Ekotto appears to have been excluded from the Spurs set-up—perhaps because he has absolutely no interest in football—so he may wish to start up a partnership with the Watford branch of his favourite American wholesaler.

    He could even start buying his hair products in bulk...

Marouane Chamakros

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    Now that misfiring French striker Marouane Chamakh has been shipped off to Crystal Palace, his new office is just a stone's throw from the Croydon Makro.

    Fans could look forward to him facing Assou-Ecostco in the London cash-and-carry derby. 

Nigel Oreo-Coker

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    Now that Nigel Reo-Coker is plying his trade in the MLS, it's almost fitting that he shill for two of North America's finest unhealthy exports: Oreos and Coke. 

    He could even combine the two products to market what NASCAR driver Tony Stewart likes to call "Soda cookies."

Pepsi Reina

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    Also a key contender for the promotion of fizzy brown American sugar water is Pepe Reina, who would look just as good in the adverts as Beyonce. Probably. 

Danny Fox-Glacier-Mint

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    A good-old-fashioned English left winger like Danny Fox deserves a good-old-fashioned English product endorsement like Fox's Glacier Mints.

    Not only would his appeal among the elderly increase, but the triple-barrelled name makes him sound super classy.  

Javier Hernandos

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    Every single footballer in the UK loves Nandos. In fact, every single person in the UK loves Nandos.

    Manchester United star Javier Hernandez would be the envy of the nation if he changed his name in dedication to the beloved chicken eatery.

    He could even change his nickname to 'ChickenPittaRito.'

Victor Wagyamamas

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    They make you sit on school dinner tables like you are playing a role in Oliver Twist, but Wagamama's has almost as much love on the high street as Nandos. 

    Southampton new boy could get free Chicken Katsu Curry at the West Quay shopping centre branch if he gave his surname a remodelling. 

Thomas VerRoyalMaelen

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    Arsenal's big Belgian Thomas Vermaelen isn't a striker, but he might fit in with an organisation that loves going on strike, the Royal Mail. 

Tesc O'Fabregas

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    He may have Barcelona in his DNA, but Cesc Fabregas surely has a love of great food at competitive prices within his heart.

Gary Ca-WilliamHill

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    With Sky Bet sponsoring the Football League and a whole host of Premier League teams promoting gambling on their shirts, it's only a matter of time before players individually endorse bookmakers.

    Gary Cahill's place in the England squad would only be further cemented by incorporating the Three Lions' official bookie William Hill into his name...

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