(Photo by Chris Trotman/Getty Images)
"I'm here to say that I'm officially retiring," says Martin. "That is, officially retiring all talk of retiring. Dang, I make Brett Favre sound decisive."
"But if you're just as tired of hearing about the extending of my career as you were about my so-called retirement, then consider yourself re-'tired.'"
"These two wins this year have given me the confidence to consider myself a legitimate Cup contender. I think my experience gives me an edge, as does my fitness. You know, I stay in shape with a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, and an exercise regimen featuring Richard Simmons' 'Sweatin' to the Oldies.' And that's just what these youngsters on the track are doing when they see me zoom past—'sweatin' to the oldie.'"
5. Jeff Burton— Burton outlasted a tight-handling car, as well as a broken shock, to post a 12th-place finish in the Southern 500 at Darlington. Burton has now reeled off nine-straight finishes of 15th or better after a relatively slow start to the season, and is sixth in the points, 217 out of first.
"I think the No. 31 Caterpillar team is finally coming into its own," says Burton. "Earlier this year, we stumbled, as if in a 'cat-atonic state. Now, I feel that our run of top-15s will 'cat'-apult us to greater things, like fifth, or maybe fourth, in the points. It appears that Caterpilla' got her groove back."
6. Ryan Newman— Newman finished fourth in the Southern 500, his third consecutive top-5 result, and second that didn't launch Carl Edwards skyward, following third-place Tony Stewart to give Stewart-Haas both cars in the top five for the second-straight race. After finishing out of the top 20 in the first five races this season, Newman has paced the No. 39 US Army Chevy to seven top-20 finishes, including five top-10s.
"This team is on fire," says Newman, "which is probably the same thing Michael Waltrip said on lap 75. That should go down as a lesson on the perils of running jet fuel in your car."
"But racing at Darlington requires you to use every ounce of energy you can muster. I'm drained. In fact, I'm suffering from Army fatigue."
7. Kurt Busch— Busch started eighth at Darlington and battled a loose-handling No. 2 Miller Lite Dodge for the majority of the night. Those handling issues, in conjunction with Darlington's tricky surface and a surfeit of spins and cautions, left Busch with an exhausting 16th-place finish and a beat-up car. He fell one place in the points to third, and is 55 behind Jeff Gordon.
"It's true what they say," says Busch. "Darlington is 'too tough to tame.' That's also what they used to say about my ears, until advancements in the field of cosmetic surgery made it possible to take the wind out of those sails."
"But I was none too happy with my car on Saturday night. I tried to get Roger Penske on the radio to tell him about it, but he's got my number blocked."
"Apparently, Roger's got better things to do than listen to me whine about my car, like watch Helio Castroneves win the pole for the Indianapolis 500. It's a good thing Danica Patrick doesn't drive for Roger; otherwise, he'd be hearing it in both ears."
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