Who would have blooming thunk it? Sensible, useful signings for Real Madrid this summer. Indeed, Florentino Perez has even managed to almost balance the books with the ins and outs of the clubs in the transfer market.
That does not mean there is not still plenty of time for an enormous, obscene splurge before the closing of the transfer window, though. Here are a few options that might get the supporters’ juices flowing.
Imagine this glorious scenario: Ten seconds before the transfer window deadline and a cheeky one-line posting on the club website that the immense bag of madness and brilliance that is Zlatan, had been brought in by Real Madrid on a contract for life. Supporters would not know whether to laugh or cry.
Karim Benzema would certainly do the latter, with the short-tempered Swede immediately hanging his own garish gear up on the Frenchman’s dressing room hook on turning up in the Spanish capital. The arrival of the PSG man would clear any doubts over having only Benzema and Alvaro Morata in the forward ranks at the club as well as being enormous fun to watch, whether it be a brilliant success or a Barcelona-esque disaster.
Likelihood: Almost none
At around €40 million for a team that, technically speaking, has not really spent any money this summer, Rooney’s purchase would be a bit of a snip and not too much of a gamble. It could be a win-win situation for all.
The club president likes an Englishman about the house due to the marketing and media interest. The Manchester United man himself might learn a few new tricks in La Liga as he enters the final part of his career.
Carlo Ancelotti would have a few forehead-slapping “Mama Mia!” moments, though, trying to squeeze the Brit into an already congested, competitive forward line. To be fair, poor Angel di Maria would be looking even glummer than he already is now if the transfer were to materialize.
Likelihood: Stranger things have happened
To be honest, a saga that has been going on for about a season now has bored the Madridista world to pieces, as much as everyone else around the planet and beyond.
The vibe on this most tedious of deals now is that if the Welshman finally comes to La Liga-land then that would be great. But not for €100 million. Then again, if the Spurs man stays exactly where he is, that’s just fine as well.
It is a bit like choosing a takeaway curry or pizza for a lazy dinner. Both are perfectly adequate options, if whipping up an omelet is too much of an ordeal.
Likelihood: Who cares?
This is a more personal choice. Just to see how the Madrid-leaning media manage to spin the positive side of the Liverpool man, despite the Uruguayan forward being a fine, wholesome, upstanding specimen of humanity.
Likelihood: Hell freezing over