Footballer and Politician Musical Mash-Ups We Would Love to See

Ryan Bailey@ryanjaybaileyFeatured ColumnistAugust 14, 2013

Footballer and Politician Musical Mash-Ups We Would Love to See

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    This week it was revealed that Michelle Obama is releasing a rap album. Yes, first lady Michelle Obama, wife of the most powerful man on the planet.

    Furthermore, according to Sports Grid, New York Knicks Point Guard Iman Shumpert is going to feature on the record. 

    This odd news snippet put our tiny little minds into action: What if famous names from world politics combined with famous names in football to create beautiful music together? 

    Here's how we think it would look…

Merkelmore Feat. Arsene Wenger ('Thrift Shop')

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    German Chancellor Angela Merkel is responsible for one of the strongest and most efficient economies in Europe, where not a single Euro is spent unwisely. 

    Who else would she partner up with in the hip-hop world—to spit rhymes about a thrift shop—than Arsene Wenger, the man who resolutely refuses to spend any money? 

    The Arsenal boss certainly looks better in the fur coat than his usual God-awful puffer jacket.  

Motley Lewd ('Girls, Girls, Girls')

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    It is still utterly baffling that a man like Silvio Berlusconi could become Italian Prime Minister three times, but the man who is now banned from office and facing a prison term for soliciting an underage prostitute will probably be dialling back his political engagements soon.

    What better time to launch Motley Lewd, his lady-lovin' '80s hair metal band featuring fellow lotharios Cristiano Ronaldo (aka the Portuguese Man o' Sex), Ronaldinho (aka The King of Catalonian Nightclubs) and Gabby Agbonlahor (aka the man who impregnated three different girlfriends simultaneously).

    Which way to the bunga bunga party, Silvio?

Notorious P.U.T.I.N. Feat. Pav Daddy ('Mo Asylum Mo Problems')

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    Pesky fugitive former CIA contractor Edward Snowden is causing a global political snafu by seeking asylum in Russia.

    President Vladimir Putin could partner up with former Spurs striker Roman Pavlyuchenko to lament the situation via the medium of radio-friendly rap.

    Notorious P.U.T.I.N. and Pav Daddy would have plenty of common ground, seeing as the latter is now a city councillor for the former's United Russia party.

    The only threat to their domination of the airwaves would be Maroon 5's upcoming release, "Moves like Dzagoev."

Chas & Dave ('Glory Glory Stoke City')

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    The original Chas & Dave were diehard Tottenham fans, famous for numerous ditties about the Lilywhites.

    British Prime Minister David Cameron and Stoke's handsome devil Charlie Adam are neither cockneys nor Spurs fans, so their musical collaboration will be a tribute to Adam's current club, Stoke.

    The band will eventually break up when Dave reveals he is an "ardent" Aston Villa fan. One that has never actually watched a game, that is.

KimYe North Feat. Luis Suarez ('Monster')

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    In 2010, Kanye West inspired controversy with the video to his single "Monster," which featured disturbing horror imagery and a negative sexual portrayal of women.

    Two folks who know a little something about controversy are North Korea's supreme leader Kim Jong-un and Liverpool's chomp-happy forward Luis Suarez.

    The two famous reds would form an unbeatable partnership—right up until the point that Suarez demands a transfer to work with Merkelmore and Arsene Wenger.

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