Like an Egyptian monument sitting on the edge of the Sahara, a new LeBron James shrine now stands watch over the grounds of Nike’s Beaverton, Ore., campus—and it’s not terrifying or anything.
Carved entirely out of sand, the LeSphinx (as this author has named it) is a monstrosity of impressive skill and proportions. James posted a picture of himself standing next to the giant sandy gargoyle, and as you can clearly see, this isn’t the product of two kids messing around in the sandbox.
The image, courtesy of Sean Highkin at For The Win:
That is a big, sandy LeBron James statue—considering the actual James (6’8”, 240 pounds) appears to be at least a whole head shorter than the creation. Don’t focus on the two Larry O’Brien statues carved next to James’ likeness or the fact that the statue’s face appears to be James mated with a Slowpoke.
That doesn’t matter.
Focus on the size, and more importantly, the fact that someone spent time building this thing.
What were their reasons? What are they trying to say?
Is this just a “Hey, LeBron—heard you were coming, so here’s a giant version of you made of sand” thing? Or does someone at Nike have an obsessive crush on James?
I like to think it’s the latter and that James discovered the object by chance. I picture him coming to campus looking to hash out his next $90 million shoe deal and walking up behind Nike CEO Mark Parker, who is molding this monolith in the middle of the company zen garden.
“Hey, is that me?” James would ask.
“Well, this is awkward,” Parker would reply, hastily covering up the hearts and the Illuminati inscriptions at the shrine’s base.
In reality, however, it’s likely whoever built LeSphinx was a skilled professional—a professional who was paid handsomely to build a giant James out of sand. Which is a crazy reality on its own.
On Twitter, praying the mighty LeSphinx doesn't come alive and eat us all.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!