Randy Orton's Unofficial Spokesman Breaks Down the Reality of Batista

Ryan MichaelSenior Writer IIIMay 12, 2009

As the unofficial president of the Randy Orton Fan Club, I might as well become his unofficial spokesman while I'm at it. While the fabric of WWE storyline construction might limit Orton's ability to expose greater truths, I am bound by no such restrictions.

In that event, I am very much pleased to break down the reality of "The Animal" known as Dave Batista.

When you think of Batista, a few things come to mind. Words like strong, powerful, and unintelligent are often terms that are quickly attached to his name.

Yet, how many of those terms are applied in accurate fashion?

Allow me...

Lets get it out of the way right here and now. Like it or not, Batista is a legitimate main-event competitor in the WWE. He surely has his flaws, but the overall package does not combine to make him worthless, or of such a poor quality that the WWE should eliminate his services all together.

I buy him as a more legitimate threat and main-event competitor than many of the WWE's top stars. Sadly, his association with Evolution alone puts him in a higher esteem than others simply by that very association.

I could see why this might appear idiotic to many, but I have a great admiration for that particular Super-Stable.

Batista is strong and, as a matter of fact, the word "strong" about sums up the entirety of his character. Years ago, I coined the phrase "Tuffmin", which is obviously a poor grammatical bastardization of the words "Tough" and "Man".

Now what is a Tuffmin you ask?

A Tuffmin is a professional wrestling competitor whose character personifies the most basic extents of humanistic creativity. Batista might actually be the poster-boy for such a term. He's very little in terms of physical tools, but that is usually overshadowed by his apparently impressive physique.

A Tuffmin is a professional wrestler who has little to no intellect and, as they say, "lets his actions do the talking".

I'm drifting here, let's focus more on Batista himself.

What Batista possesses in strength, he makes up for with lack of intelligence.

Let's not even pretend for half a moment that Batista thinks and acts in any sort of calculated fashion. A look at last Monday's Raw is a perfect example of just how thoughtful Batista can be.

The stipulation was simple, defeat The Legacy and he would get his hands on Randy Orton.

So, Cody Rhodes attempts to use a steel chair (something that I'd hope Batista would be smart enough to figure might happen) and he responds in a fit of idiotic rage and attempts to hit Rhodes with the steel chair which resulted in a disqualification.

His promo-work is about as multi-faceted as his intellectual capacity.

"I am going to beat your a**!"

"Get over here!"


These are examples of the most complex lines that Batista studies at length to remember.

So what do we have in Batista?

We have a solid main event competitor.

Sadly, professional wrestling is not a line or work that requires much in the way of intellectual competence. I suppose that is what separates a guy like Randy Orton from the rest of the heard.

For every person who calls Orton a "coward" for not walking up to a bigger man and fighting him face to face, just know that Randy Orton will be holding championship gold years after men like Batista are confined to a hospital bed.

It's not just mind over matter, it's greatness over power.

To call Randy Orton "great" is to be arrogant but to call him anything less is to be flat out mistaken.