(Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)
Dear Gwen Stefani (the hollaback girl),
Have not seen you in a while. I have been busy here in Spain getting ready for the Madrid Masters and the French Open.
I am sorry that I did not get you tickets for the French Open and Wimbledon. I confess that I purposefully did not get them for you because...you see... you are just plain bad luck.
Ever since you have been attending my matches, I have been on a losing slide.
I saw you on American Idol. Your performance reminded me of my own problems with tennis these days. You worked hard and tried to perform with energy but in the end there were a lot of better younger singers.
I think Simon would have savaged you if he had the chance to judge your performance. Speaking of "Britain's Got Talent", I have a score to settle with Andy Murray.
I hope you are not too upset with me. I will understand if you do not get me tickets to a "No Doubt" show but will be relieved just the same.
I have to pull out all the stops to give myself winning chances at the French Open and Wimbledon this year. If that means no tickets for you, well then, no tickets for you!
One more thing, the producers of "Swiss Idol" want to know if you could perform there. They say you sing like a yoddler and so I am sure that you would feel right at home.
All the best and a hella good!