The wait is nearly over, as every fan of the English Premier League is counting down the days to the start of the season. Even the famous ones.
Some famous fans, like Usain Bolt, don’t just want to watch the 2013-14 Premier League season, as reported in The Daily Mail. They want to play in it.
Apparently Bolt wants to set up a meeting with new Manchester United manager David Moyes to see if he can one day play for his beloved United. Imagine how fast Wayne Rooney would write his next transfer request if he was being kept out of the squad by Usain Bolt too.
Every Premier League team has celebrity supporters (well, only just all of them, as you will soon find out) so we’ve been tasked with going through every club’s showbiz fanbase and electing their coolest representative. So don’t hang about and let’s start this slideshow.
Idris Elba is possibly one of the coolest people on the planet at the moment. He’s Stringer Bell in The Wire, Luther in Luther and an Arsenal fan through and through.
London born and bred, Elba has supported Arsenal since his teenage years and, to the envy of all of his fellow Gooners, he classes Thierry Henry as a mate and once took Charlize Theron to the Emirates.
We’ve been caught in arctic snowstorms that aren’t as cool that.*
*We’ve never been caught in an arctic snowstorm.
The Duke of Cambridge pips Tom Hanks to the title of “coolest Aston Villa fan” simply because Tom Hanks might one day play a king in a movie. Whereas Prince Willy is going to be an actual king one day. You lose this one, Hanks.
It’s believed The Duke of Cambrizzle, who is also president of England’s Football Association, started supporting Villa whilst at Eton School.
When you’re the first openly gay professional rugby union player and one of the best ever Welsh rugby union players at that, a lot of respect is deserved. Plus this guy is harder than trying to juggle whilst your drunk.
His credentials as a Chelsea fan might not be as solid as some of the other candidates, and his response to “where were you when you were…not very good” may fall under scrutiny. But this is Ron Burgundy we’re talking about. This is Ricky Bobby. This is probably the greatest comic actor of his generation.
Will Ferrell is said to be a longtime Chelsea fan, turning up to The Daily Show wearing a Chelsea top and even being made honorary captain for Chelsea on their 2009 preseason tour.
Wayne Bridge is keeping Ferrell away for his girlfriend just to be safe; he’s not had the best of luck with Chelsea captains.
For a team that has been relegated every season it has been in the Premier League, Crystal Palace have accumulated their fair share of celebrity followers.
The one who sticks out as the coolest is hit comedian and actor on both sides of the Atlantic (for our money, thee coolest ocean—get over it, Pacific), Eddie Izzard.
Izzard, who was born in modern-day Yemen (not exactly a Crystal Palace stronghold) has supported Palace since 1969 and became an associate director at Selhurst Park in 2012.
This could be a controversial one as Sir Paul has long tried to play down his allegiance to either of the Merseyside teams, as have/did all of The Beatles.
But in 2008, Everton’s official website claimed that Sir Paul had finally come out as a full-blown Evertonian. Quoting him as saying:
It is always lovely for me to go back to Liverpool and play for the home crowd. I am looking forward to that, it should be cool, even though I am an Everton fan officially - when it comes to the crunch, my Dad was born in Everton.
Sorry Liverpool fans, we’re putting Sir Paul down as a Toffee.
And if you want to question his credentials as being the coolest Everton fan, listen to all The Beatles and Wings albums and get back to us.
Probably best skipping all that solo stuff though.
Even the smaller London clubs don’t have trouble attracting A-list support on the terraces. We bet Leyton Orient probably have George Clooney as a fan and Justin Bieber’s a regular at Millwall.
Fulham have a few contenders but we’ve got to go for Daniel Radcliffe as Fulham’s coolest fan. Having Harry Potter supporting your team in 2013 is what it must have felt like for people in the ‘80s to have Mark Hammill support their team.
Radcliffe has been a Fulham fan since his schooldays at Hogwarts, but has also taken an interest in American football and cricket.
The 81-year-old Lawrence Of Arabia and Doctor Zhiavgo actor, Omar Sharif, wins the title of "Hull City’s coolest celebrity fan" by default.
You might find this hard to believe, but there aren’t many Hull City fans in the celebrity fraternity. The only other reported Hull City celebrity fan we can find is Sinitta.
She is probably the world’s uncoolest celebrity.
Plus there aren’t many cool people who want to be seen doing the worst chant in sporting history.
Or wearing the worst kit in football history.
We don’t mean to sound like this is an attack on Hull, but in terms of coolness, your Barcelonas, LA Galaxies and Borussia Dortmunds of this world do not have to worry about Hull City.
We hope you Hull fans don’t take offence—we don’t want to be “mauled by the tigers.”
Absolutely no one else.
Liverpool are a really difficult club to choose a coolest fan for. Just have a glance at the list of people who will never walk alone in the honorable mentions below to see who were in contention.
It was tough call to decide who was cooler: Samuel L. Jackson or Daniel Craig.
We’d love to see him play the next Bond movie with a Liverpudlian accent. Or at least make a Luis Suarez reference.
Mike Myers (Austin Powers, not serial killer from the Halloween movies—he’s probably more of a Stoke fan)
There aren’t many Northern Britpop musicians who aren’t Manchester City fans. So we’ve decided to go with the coolest member of the coolest band of the Britpop era.
City has been a lifelong love for local lad Noel (we’ve broken our “L” key), who has stuck with the club through its ups and downs. And, in 46 years with Manchester City, he will have seen a lot of both.
He is currently reaping the rewards now that the good times are arriving at the Etihad Stadium. When he conducted an interview with former City cult hero Mario Balotelli and before City’s FA Cup final against Wigan this year, Noel boldly predicted to the Daily Mail:
We should beat this lot with eight men wand I think we are going to see a hat-trick today, either Carlos [Tevez] or [Sergio] Aguero.
Wigan won 1-0.
With more fans than any other club around the world, the law of averages says Manchester United are going to net one or two top-notch celebrities.
We can’t look past Usain Bolt as the very coolest of United fans. The fastest man in recorded history wins 100-meter races without looking like he’s broken strolling pace.
The Jamaican sprinter will be the envy of Manchester United fans on August 9, when he pulls on the famous red shirt to play in Rio Ferdinand’s testimonial and has even recently been offering parental advice to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge urging Prince William not to raise his newborn son as an Aston Villa fan like Wills (remember those heady days of the Aston Villa slide nine slides ago?) and raise him as United fan instead.
Thom Yorke (and not because he is related to Dwight Yorke)
The other half of the cast of Coronation Street.
Disclaimer: We’re going to try and make it through this slide without making a “Back In Black…And White” gag, but we really cannot promise anything. Please bear with us during this difficult time.
Like fellow North-East team Hull City, Newcastle United don’t have an abundance of famous fans, despite Kevin Keegan’s Entertainers becoming everyone’s second favorite team in the ‘90s.
We can’t look past AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson as the coolest member of the Toon Army, however.
Johnson, who was born in Gateshead, was even close to investing in the Magpies back in the early 80s at the request of St James’ Park legend Jackie Milburn, who was worried at how the club was being run, but turned it down, according to Classic Rock Magazine:
I was very excited about doing it, then about halfway through we looked at each other and realised they wanted me to put half a million pounds in the club. This was 1981 or ’82. At the time was a fortune – and for that they were going to make me an honorary board member, with no decision and no say. I realised that it was just a big stitch up by these greedy men.
We’re sure Brian is a lot happier now the club is being run so superbly.
Cheryl Cole (not Chelsea, for some reason…)
Sting (from The Police, not WCW)
Ant (from Ant and Dec)
Dec (from Ant and Dec)
Aussie actor Hugh Jackman’s Norwich City roots stem from his mother, who used to live in Norfolk and is a Canary.
In 2011, Jackman, who openly admits he hasn’t been to Carrow Road very many times but still owns the shirt from the last time Norwich won a trophy (the 1985 League Cup) said he regrets turning down an opportunity to invest in the club as Norwich have since recorded back-to-back promotions and look set to establish themselves as Premier League side.
He told the BBC of Norwich’s climb up the football ladder:
People say to me about these underdog stories in Hollywood, ‘it never happens in real life’ but hey, Norwich City are in the Premier League.
We predict a pretty rubbish sports movie that will only perk up when a worse-for-wear Delia Smith (who isn’t cooler than Hugh Jackman, before you say it), played by Dame Helen Mirren, takes to the pitch and starts yelling, “Let’s be ‘avin’ you!”
OK, Coldplay might not be the coolest band in the world, but Southampton are another team thin on the ground for celebrity fans.
And Will Champion, who is the drummer of one of the world’s biggest bands, is probably the most dedicated fan on this list.
Will Champion (who, with a name like that, you wouldn’t predict would be a Saints fan—unless his middle name is Notbea) was born and bred in Southampton and is even a season ticket holder at the South Stand in St Mary’s Stadium.
Erm…Craig David? OK, maybe not.
Like other North-East teams, Sunderland are not inundated with celebrity fans but they do seem to do a little better than Hull and Newcastle. (No offence, Newcastle fans, it isn’t a competition; please do not go out and punch a horse in anger, as Bleacher Report will not be held responsible for horse damage.)
The legendary Irish actor, Pete O’Toole, who achieved fame in 1962 when he starred in Lawrence of Arabia (which is, if you’re keeping count, surely a Bleacher Report first that this film has been mentioned twice in an article), is a Sunderland fan. Or rather the multiple-time Academy Award nominee was a Sunderland fan.
According to Sunderland fan site Salut! Sunderland, O’Toole stopped following the Black Cats when they moved out of Roker Park in 1997.
When your main line of work is to punch people and be punched in the face, the dour tactics of Tony Pulis won’t seem as bad to watch as they do for everyone else.
This can probably explain why Sugar Ray Leonard, whom some consider the greatest boxer of the 1980s, isn’t put off by how Stoke City have played the game since 2006.
Leonard appeared at the Britannia Stadium in September 2008 for a match against Chelsea in a Stoke shirt and cheered them on to a 2-0 loss.
You might be surprised to learn that Stoke City do have some pretty cool celebrity fans—have a look.
Swansea girl, Hollywood star and person most closely linked with the phrase "what is she doing with him?", Catherine Zeta-Jones is a big fan of Swansea City.
Their League Cup win in February even overshadowed the Oscars for herself and husband-no-not-her-father Michael Douglas. She told Local World on the red carpet of the 2013 Academy Awards: “It was one of the best things to happen today.”
And her hubby commented: “Swansea's won, haven't you heard? Very happy.”
Somehow we think that no, most people at the Oscars haven’t heard the result of Swansea City vs. Bradford City, Michael.
Another London club, another cacophony of big-name supporters. We can’t look further than the music world’s answer to Lionel Messi, Adele, for Tottenham Hotspur's coolest celeb fan, though.
Adele was born in Tottenham but still follows her local team despite moving away from North London at the age of nine. She was even on hand to watch Tottenham crash out of the FA Cup semifinal in 2012 to Chelsea.
To mark Adele winning eight Grammy Awards in 2012, the club sent her a shirt with “Adele 8” printed on the back and signed by Spurs’ No. 8, Scott Parker.
Wow, eight Grammys and a signed Spurs shirt. We bet she was made up with that.
Despite being born and raised in London, Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood is a Baggie.
Ron puts his love for West Bromwich Albion down to his brothers supporting them and telling JACK, a men's magazine, in March 2003: “West Bromwich Albion (were) very big in the Fifties. It’s a bit like my boys now supporting Arsenal and Chelsea.”
In 2013, supporting West Brom has got to the point where it is like supporting Arsenal in 2013.
We’ll finish with a big one.
The President of the United States and the leader of the free world is a Hammer, according to the Daily Telegraph.
We told you the London clubs can pull the big names.
Apparently President Obama has been a West Ham United fan ever since a trip to watch the Irons play in the early 90s and he reportedly watches them play whenever he gets the time.
We’d like to hear his rendition of “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles.”