Fantasy Premier League Team Names: Funny Monikers for 2013-14 Campaign

Timothy RappFeatured ColumnistAugust 5, 2013

SO KON PO, HONG KONG - JULY 27:  Edin Dzeko #10 of Manchester City poses with trophy after defeating Sunderland during the Barclays Asia Trophy Final match between Manchester City and Sunderland at Hong Kong Stadium on July 27, 2013 in So Kon Po, Hong Kong.  (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images for FA Premier League)
Chris McGrath/Getty Images

A good fantasy name for your team isn't easy to come by. It should be clever, that much is for certain, and if it is snarky or sardonic, that helps.

It should involve a player or manager, but it shouldn't be too obvious in doing so. Maybe you incorporate a player's name into a movie title, or band name, or some other reference. 

Folks, what I've listed below may...disappoint you.

Why, you ask?

Because they are full of cheap puns, that's why. Because a few of the references are either obscure or only matter to me. Because I picked the low-hanging fruit. 

And c'mon, let's be honest—ultimately, that's what your fantasy team name is all about. A few cheap laughs. A "clever" turn of phrase. A chance to make fun of the player looking to leave your club—how many "Bale-ing Out" or "Baleout" names do you think you'll see in leagues with Tottenham fans?—or take a dig at your biggest rivals. 

Here are my attempts at being witty, humorous and clever. Do I pass that test? Probably not.

Will I use one of these names for my own team? You betcha.


Veni Vidic Vici

Nemanja Vidic came, he saw, he defended. 

It's a slightly new translation of the old Latin phrase "veni, vidi, vici" (I came, I saw, I conquered), but it's a good way to let your fellow fantasy owners know you intend to dominate the league. 


Dzeko and the Bunnymen

I don't think Manchester City's players will appreciate it if Edin Dzeko refers to them as the Bunnymen. Well, unless they like 1980s punk, that is. 


Bulbasaur, Charmander and Skrtel

C'mon, you played Pokemon as a kid. I'm not sure if Martin Skrtel was as big a fan. 

Skrtel, Skrtel!


Krul Intentions

If you are playing against Newcastle, you may think Tim Krul has plenty of these intentions as he keeps opponents from scoring. 


I've Got 99 Problems Ivanovic Ain't One

Hit me!

Chelsea doesn't have too many problems this offseason, but even if they did, steady defender Branislav Ivanovic wouldn't be one of them. 


Clap Your Hands Say Yaya

They're on Toure now.

I'll be here all week.

No I won't, mostly because I'll probably be axed for writing this cornball list. Ah well. 


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