10 Premier League Players and Their Movie Character Alter Egos

Christopher Heathman@@CHeathmanCorrespondent IIAugust 3, 2013

10 Premier League Players and Their Movie Character Alter Egos

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    Professional athletes are always compared to fictional characters. It is one of the fun things fans of sport do in their spare time for their own amusement, but unfortunately it can also be used to insult a player they dislike.

    This list targets Premier League footballers and some comparisons will not be so clear to all. There are more obvious ones in this list based on looks, but players and movie characters can also be comparable based on actions and personality.

    A player's career experiences can also be matched up with the stories of certain fictional characters. After long periods of thought (and admittedly severe head scratching), here are 10 Premier League players and their movie character alter egos.

Rafael Da Silva Is Peregrin Took (Lord of the Rings)

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    Rafael da Silva is a young and talented full-back with what looks like a great future ahead of him at Manchester United. One trait, however, associated with the young Brazilian is what I will call his overeagerness.  He needs to be within five yards of the ball no matter where it is on the pitch.

    He's often erratic which causes some problems for his fellow team-mates, but when he times his adventures to the opposition half right, they can be incredibly helpful to the cause.

    Peregrin Took is much the same. He and his dear friend Merry may have knocked Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee off their path in the beginning, but they did lead the ring bearer to the Buckleberry ferry to escape the Wraiths.

    The so-called "fool of a Took" decided he would take the Palantir from Gandalf as he slept (a magical sphere which made him see Sauron) and as a result potentially endanger the whole of middle-earth, but he soon went on to kill a few Orcs and save Gangalf's life. Swings and roundabouts. 

    Rafael could well leave Rio Ferdinand, Nemanja Vidic and Patrice Evra in all kinds of trouble, but then he could score against Liverpool at Anfield or a screamer vs QPR.

Aaron Ramsey Is Neo (The Matrix)

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    It is important to note when I compare Aaron Ramsey to Neo it is meant to be Neo from the first 'The Matrix' film of the trilogy. He has a long way to go before he can be considered "The One."

    Ramsey is a bit of an odd entity. After spending some time questioning his ability at the start of last season, there were plenty of moments in the second half which proved this young Welsh midfielder will not fade away anytime soon.

    He does have games when you are left wondering what he is doing at a club aiming for Champions League football, but then the next game he proves beyond a doubt he belongs. Ramsey, it can be said, was even outshining Jack Wilshere last season.

    Given Wilshere's injuries it will not be a surprise to some, but his performances in the Champions League and some key games in the Premier League showed he could be a more important player for the Gooners next season.

    Neo from the first 'The Matrix' film was very similar. When he was being beaten to a pulp or falling to what in reality would have been his death, you questioned whether it was even worth watching the rest of the film to see if he manages to at least get a punch in.

    In the end, however, you are left with no doubt. Neo has a bright future in 'The Matrix' and you really want a sequel to see if "The One" can prove the Oracle wrong and show that even in the fictional world psychics are a bit silly.

    Is Ramsey "The One?" I don't know, I'm not psychic. But he season by season the 22-year-old is becoming a more important starter for Arsenal.

Dimitar Berbatov Is Terry Benedict (Ocean's 11, 12 and 13)

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    Dimitar Berbatov is one cool cat. His style of football fools everyone into thinking he is a lazy, but brilliant striker who is unlikely to bust a gut to score. In fact, it is the opposite which is true.

    As the Bulgarian glides to his destination, the lack of determination on his face even tricks the opposition, but just as they start to figure he will not receive the ball in that very dangerous goal scoring area, that is the moment he is most threatening.

    There has not been a much cooler player than Berbatov in the history of the Premier League, and there has not been many cooler characters than Terry Benedict.

    The key to this comparison is with longer hair Berbatov looks like actor Andy Garcia. However, Benedict went through a lot during the Ocean's trilogy but still managed to keep a calm exterior. He even went on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" to talk about donating millions to charity, even though it was in fact a result of Danny Ocean defeating Benedict for the third time in three films.

    Like Berbatov coolly threatening to score a goal, Benedict coolly threatens to kill Ocean and his clan. It is hard to take threats from either man seriously, but you will only suffer if you do not.

Martin Skrtl Is 'The Mask'

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    If you painted Martin Skrtel's face green, he would look like "The Mask." There are other comparisons, though, but the Liverpool defender does not come out too rosy.

    One trait of "The Mask" is his uncanny ability to make an awful mess of things. You know exactly what he intends to do, but he will make a mistake which actually turns out to haunt him for the rest of the film. This unfortunate flaw causes a run in with criminal Dorian Tyrel and a bounty for his life.

    Where "The Mask" indirectly kills someone, Skrtel sends Carlos Tevez through on goal to equalise for Man City at Anfield. He was trying to pass it back to goalkeeper Pepe Reina, but his execution was nothing short of a disaster. It was a moment which summed up the Slovakian's season.

David De Gea Is Kuzco (The Emperor's New Groove)

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    David de Gea has had an excellent year so far and the 2012-13 season was a period of redemption for a young 'keeper who was under a lot of pressure.

    Kuzco from "The Emperor's New Groove" also had a tough start to his reign, although it was over the Incas rather than the Manchester United defence.

    He was a young emperor and extremely naive. It was his selfish, 18-year-old attitude which angered his people, but all of this began to change when he transformed into a llama.

    Both De Gea and Kuzco developed through tough experiences. The emperor hit rock bottom when he was a llama while the Manchester United goalkeeper was far from being the club's number one. The same mistakes from crosses was met by tough press and criticism. There were signs of his ability, though, just like there were signs Kuzco could actually be a decent ruler and actually a nice guy. 

    De Gea emerged from his experience ready to take on the mantel as Man Utd's first choice 'keeper and is fast becoming arguably the best in the Premier League. Kuzco became a sympathetic emperor loved by his subjects.

    You may also say de Gea actually looks like a llama, but I couldn't possibly comment.

Jesus Navas Is Peter Pan

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    No one wants to grow old and, at a time when looks are so important, almost everyone is scared to start looking their age. For most it is inevitable, for others not so much.

    Ex-Manchester United striker Ole Gunnar Solksjaer for example, also known as "the Baby Faced assassin," still has not aged a day from his Man Utd debut. The Premier League, though, now has a new baby face and he comes with blue tropical sea eyes.

    One of Manchester City's summer signings Jesús Navas is apparently 27 years old, but physically has not aged a day since his tenth birthday. He was born in Los Palacios in the province of Seville, or should that be Neverland?

    Peter Pan does not age. It is one of the perks of being from said Neverland. He can also fly thanks to some happy thoughts and so can Navas. He is the new speed demon of the Premier League and soars down the right wing at defenders like Peter Pan attacking those mean old pirates.

    You could get lost in those eyes, but when you are lost, Navas will fly past you in one happy thought and you will still be old. Do not worry, it was just the hand you were dealt.

Luis Suarez Is Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)

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    Luis Suarez is hated and appreciated. He can amaze us, he can disgust us. The Uruguayan striker epitomises the word "divisive."

    Captain Jack Sparrow is the same. He will point a gun at the Governor's lovely daughter's head, but his escape strategy will leave you in awe and you cannot help but be impressed.

    Luis Suarez tried to take a chunk out of Ivanovic's arm, but he also went on to score a last minute equaliser to salvage a point leaving Liverpool fans delighted.

    He occasionally dives, but he scores goals which leave you scratching your head and wondering "how did he do that?" His stunning finish vs Newcastle at Anfield in particular showed what this incredibly talented footballer is capable of.

    Is Suarez just about one of the worst human being I've ever seen on a football pitch? Or is he one of the best players in the world today? It is probably both.

Ryan Giggs Is Obi Wan Kenobi

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    Ryan Giggs has seen it all during his playing days. Obi Wan Kenobi just about seen it all during his Jedi days, though his experiences were a bit more extreme.

    With all the experience Giggs has developed unparalleled wisdom and it has been key in Manchester United's most recent title triumphs. In his interviews, he always says the right things; he never gets carried away with emotions. You cannot be a Jedi if you let your emotions takeover, just ask Anakin Skywalker.

    Obi Wan had a lot to learn in Episode I, but by the second film he was on his way to being as wise as Yoda. By the time his inevitable showdown with Anakin came around, he was ready for the ultimate test of his emotions. Young Skywalker may have been like a brother, but he was now a Sith. Obi Wan did what he had to do and chopped his legs off.

    Giggs is finally making his transition from player to coach under David Moyes, from Obi Wan Kenobi to Ben Kenobi. It looks like his wisdom will continue to play a part at Man Utd for many years.

Romelu Lukaku Is Calypso (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End)

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    This comparison comes down to one assumption. Romelu Lukaku is a god bound in human form.

    Lukaku's first season was "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest." We have a taste of what he is capable of, which was 17 league goals in his debut season.

    While we saw just a small amount of what magic Calypso was capable of, we were also left questioning her significance at the end of the film.

    The young Belgian striker has produced just a fraction of the magic he is capable of. His 6'3", 220-pound frame will bully defenders, but his feet and finesse will dazzle. This is all evidence to support the idea this being does not originate from earth. 

    The question mark still remains over Lukaku, although early signs show he could become one of the Premier League's great strikers. He is a colossus who can strike fear into the hearts of defenders and he is still only 20 years old.

    Chelsea fans will be hoping it will not take nine football lords and their nine pieces of eight to unleash the god within, and only needs Mourinho to give him game time to develop and wreak havoc in England.

Vincent Kompany Is King Leonidas (300)

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    Vincent Kompany is one of the best defenders and leaders in World football, but he just so happens to be one of the nicest. 

    King Leonidas had the respect of his soldiers, he was a fearless leader and he, too, was an amiable one.

    Leonidas' bravery and willing to fight to the death comes from the "agoge," when at the age of seven he was plunged into a life of violence and survival. Some say Kompany was left to fend for himself in the Ardennes, an experience which created the steel image of a man we see now.

    Their passion for their respective causes sets an example their subjects are willing to follow. Whether it is standing on the front-line and charging toward the Persians, or scoring the winner vs Manchester United to all but seal the Premier League title, they set the standard for dedication and performance.

    I for one would have no problem charging into battle alongside either man. AH-OOH!