Remember that chapter in the Bible when the Boston Bruins were up 3-2 on the Romans and Pontius Pilate tried to go glove-side on the Messiah?
Me neither, but that didn’t stop one Bruins fan from getting a tattoo of Jesus Christ as a goalie on his leg.
The tattoo is titled “Jesus Saves” and features the Christian Messiah in a Bruins alternate captain jersey. Images of the ink were spotted by Pete Blackburn of The NoseBleeds, and it’s just as ridiculous as it sounds.
So many questions arise after seeing this ink.
“Dear Lord, why art thou—the supreme being—only an alternate captain?”
“Doest the Holy Ghost live inside Patrice Bergeron’s stick?”
“Will thou ever give the Leafs a break?”
As historically inaccurate as the tattoo is, it’s not hard to think Jesus would fare excellently between the pipes. Saving is kind of his thing, and you know he’ll sacrifice for the team.
Tuukka Rask is an excellent goalkeeper, but the big J.C. is immaculate in all ways. You couldn’t ask for a better motivational speaker in the locker room either. Jesus would give an excellent pregame pump-up sermon, and when it comes time to skate out onto the ice—BOOM—doves fly out over the arena.
The only problem with Jesus being on the team would be timeouts. Wrappers from PowerBars he multiplied into two would get everywhere, and all the water bottles would end up filled with merlot—something that would only help a team with Patrick Kane on the roster.
But I digress.
The tattoo is an interesting and strange bit of ink and will surely put the Bruins in God’s good favors. Right?
Peter denied the Lord three times. Now it’s Jesus' turn to do the stonewalling.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!