WWE Manual: Greg Bush's Idea of How to Run Raw: Episode 16

GregCorrespondent IMay 11, 2009

NEW YORK - APRIL 30:  Wrestler Dave Batista attends a screening of 'Head Case' at the MoMA Sculpture Garden on April 30, 2009 in New York City.  (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images)

Okay, last week D-X ran all over Legacy. Will Legacy finally get their revenge? Or will D-X go on to destroy the young stars? Who knows? I don't even know.

For Smackdown, check Ray Bogusz.
For ECW, check Anonymous Guy.
For TNA, check Kevin Canny.
For the Highlight Reel, AkD.
For the Total Team Wrestling, check out Jeff Gorman.

Let's get going!


(Fireworks go off)

King: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, children of ages 14-up, welcome to Monday Night Raw!

Cole: Last week, Legacy was destroyed and embarrassed, earlier tonight Orton assured that D-X's antics won't go on tonight.

King: What do you think that means?

Rey Mysterio and Kofi announce who their "associates" are

Rey and Kofi come out to a standing ovation. Rey grabs a mic.

Rey: Wassup everybody! I am Rey Mysterio, he is Kofi Kingston, and in case you didn't notice, we've been acting a little differently lately.

Kofi: We've been cutting deals in the back, we cut short our match a few weeks ago. I know everyone wants to know why. So please welcome...

"WELL I'LL BE DAMNED!!!" APA comes out to the ramp.

Farooq: Kofi, Rey, good job so far. For the audience who doesn't quite know yet, Shane made us Raw Law. He wants us to...make sure things go his way.

Bradshaw: What that means is...we pretty much control the whole show.

Rey: Well, would you tell these people why you want us?

Bradshaw: Oh, not yet. Rey, Kofi. Ron and I are going to teach you two what we in the Acolytes Protection Agency know as "The Backstage Book."

King: Backstage Book?

Cole: I don't know, King.

Farooq: But don't worry about that tonight. Tonight you two get to sit back and watch the show. Enjoy.


SOS vs Ziggy and Braddock

King: Let's show the video from last Monday with what happened to these two.

"SOS is in the ring with Finlay and Hornswoggle.

SOS: Hello audience!  I am the Celtic Warrior Sheamus O'Shaunessey, and this is the man who loves to fight, Finlay!

Finlay: And this is my son, Hornswoggle!

SOS: Now, last week we beat one of the toughest teams in the WWE. We beat APA, but now we want a chance at the tag titles. So Priceless, stop bending over for Johnson and come out here!

Priceless doesn't come out, but Dolph and Ryan do.

Ziggy: Wait a minute Sheamus. It's great that you beat APA, it really is, but you haven't beaten us. Hell, you haven't even beaten the former tag champs yet. How can you say you're the best when you haven't beaten the former champs yet?

How bout this. Next week we'll fight to determine the #1 contenders for the tag titles. Good?

SOS: It doesn't matter when we fight. You two twits won't last a damn second!"

Irish Curse comes out.

Finlay: Ryan, Ziggler, get you're scrawny asses out here!!

R&Z come out to a crowd screaming their names. They both have on shades and holding mics.

They get inside the ring.

Ziggy: Boys, before we start tonight I just wanted to...

They hit Irish Curse in the heads with the mics and the match begins. Ziggy throws Finlay into the corner, and Braddock throws SOS into the Fighting Irishman. They collide and their heads crash. SOS rolls out, while Finlay walks into a super-kick from Ziggy.

Ziggy puts him in his corner and tags Braddock. Braddock puts Finlay on top and tries a superplex, but he fights back. He knocks off Braddock, but Ziggy pushes Finlay off the top and outside the ring.



We come back to SOS on top of Braddock with a standing cross-face. (The split screen shows Braddock trying a spear, but Finlay trips him up and tags SOS.) SOS drags him to the middle of the ring still holding the standing cross-face.

Braddock looks worn down and drops his arm. The ref picks it up but Ziggy dropkicks SOS, knocking him hard to the mat.

He waits for him to get up and when he does, he hits a jumping inverted STO. He then sets up for the Dawn of Dolph, but Finlay boots him to the head.

He drags him to the corner and SOS tags Finlay. Finlay gets in and applies the Celtic Knot to Braddock while Ziggy recovers. He tries to get in, but the ref is preventing him.

While this is happening, SOS comes in and stomps on Braddock's arm, and then his head. The ref turns around to see SOS getting out of the ring. He starts yelling at him, and Ziggy dropkicks Finlay's head.

He lets go, and Dolph and Ryan hit the Rise of Dolph (Dawn of Dolph, Ryan Lariat combo). The ref didn't see it! 1..2..3!

King: Dolph Ziggler and Ryan Braddock just defeated Irish Curse for the #1 contender ship against Priceless at Judgment Day!

Cole: What a match!  What a finish! What a...

"Yo Yo Yo" Cryme Tyme comes out and stares down Ziggy and Braddock.


Shane is talking to D-X

Shane: Boys, tonight I overheard something with Randy and Steph. Watch out.

Shawn: Excuse me? Shane, do you know who we are? Look at us! We're degenerates! Whatever they hit us with,

Batista: We'll S*** out and throw back at them!

HHH:...wow...Dave...you gotta work on your D-X smash talk. Seriously. That was horrible. I mean I know you're new to it but...Jesus...


Tyson Kidd vs. Goldust

Tyson is in the ring

TK: Goldberg, you and your transvestite boyfriend get the Hell out here!

The Golden Boys come out as Goldberg is holding a mic.

Goldberg: What do you want Tyson? Mad because you got you're ass whupped by me? (as he is saying this, Goldust is sneaking down to the ring as Tyson is only paying attention to Goldberg)

Tyson: The only reason I was beaten was because of the attack by Dave Batista! If he hadn't taken me out, I would've been able to destroy you!

Goldberg: You think so? We'll there's you're chance at a clean match.

Goldust hits a low blow before the bell rings. Then he hits the Curtain Call. 1..2..3. Goldust wins.

King: That was a quick match...lasted only 28 seconds.

Cole: I wonder how many times he has to get beaten down before one of them challenges for the IC title.


Chris Masters is in the locker room with Maryse

Chris and Maryse are on a couch when a knock is heard.


Another knock is heard, and Chris answers it and....BOOM! An explosion of worms and roaches covers masters. Roaches and worms are covering the body of the Masterpiece and Maryse faints.

Boogeyman: Boo!



D-X and Legacy Collide!

D-X has a camera with every member.

There are six squares filling up the screen. One screen is the D-X logo.

Shawn: Boys are we ready for operation D-X prank 2?

HHH: That's a horrible name, Shawny.

Shawn: I know,. but I couldn't think of anything. Okay Batista, you're up.

Batista's screen shows him near the Legacy car. The camera backs away and Batista is in a monster truck.

King: No no no! Not the Legacy Car!

Batista rolls over it three times, and then tosses five buckets of green paint on the remains.

Batista: Objective one complete. Big Baddy Booty Daddy out.

Billy Gunn: Dude, that's Scott Steiner's. I don't think you can use that...but oh well. I'm next!

Billy is by the locker room of the beaten Tyson Kidd. He is holding a giant water hose connected to a paint tank.

Billy: Rise and shine, Champ!

Billy sprays the IC Champion in...oh my God...it's manure! Tyson is gagging and Billy keeps the hose on and leaves.

Shawn: Oh, Billy that's just sick. Okay Pac, you're next.

X-Pac is inside a stall.

Pac (whispering): Okay, I'm in the Men's Bathroom waiting on Teddy Dibiase. After we put laxatives in his food, we're expecting him very soon.

Dibiase runs in and knocks on the stall door. He gets in and does the business. When he gets back out, Pac knocks him out and throws him into the unflushed toilet.

Pac: Hahaha, Oh man. Pac out.

HHH: Okay, my turn!

HHH grabs Cody Rhodes when he is walking out to the destroyed Limo. He throws him into a trash can. He orders a garbage truck which throws Rhodes into the back.

They drive off and it shows Rhodes being tossed onto a trash barge and floating away. The barge has D-X on the side.

HHH: Okay, Shawny! It's all you!

Shawn Michaels has a bat and walks into the G.M. office of Stephanie McMahon. He stares at Steph.

Shawn: Steph, just tell me where he...

Randy jumps down with a net and captures Shawn. He punts Shawn in the head. He picks up the captured Heartbreak Kid and goes to take him away but all of the sudden, the D-X logo on the screen is replaced by a picture of a masked man with a D-X logo on the mask.

He sees Randy taking Shawn and hits Orton with a 2x4. He throws Orton out the 2nd story window down to the grass outside. He stares at Steph, who runs away.

He signals and two masked black men take Orton's wallet and watch, and then throw him in a truck.

King: What the Hell was that?

Cole: I..I don't.

Shane McMahon comes out.

Shane: Well, I hope Legacy had fun tonight, because at Judgment Day it will be Shawn Michaels and HHH vs. Orton and a member of his choosing. The rest will go up against the other D-X members in a destructive No Holds Barred match.

Also, Chris Masters will face Boogeyman in a grab the Boogey Bag match! The winner will shove the worms and roaches down the other's throat.

Maryse will be defending her title against one of the divas who will be randomly chosen.

And, Cryme Tyme will face Dolph and Ryan for the #1 contendership.


This has been a Bushboy Inc. Production.


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