Joe Kinnear has been a one-man error-making machine since it was unveiled that he would become Director of Football at St James' Park (making St James the patron saint of decisions as mad as sack of cats). Here are some of the wrong-grenades he's been throwing about this summer:
I'm probably the only football manager to be a director of football. I don't know any other ex-managers who have.
There's been loads.
I've won every award there is in football as a player.
I've never been sacked in my life.
I had over 400 games for Tottenham Hotspur.
[I have] been manager of the year three times.
I thought I'd done an excellent job there [during his spell as Newcastle Untied manager] and no way would we have gone down.
With their win-per-games ratio, they would have gone down.
I bought Dean Holdsworth for 50 grand.
I sold Robbie Earle for x, y, z.
Robbie Earle left Wimbledon after Kinnear did.
I sold Marcus Gayle, Leonhardsen, Micky Harford, John Hartson, Hans Segers, most of them were free transfers.
Segers might have been a free transfer. The others were not.
I brought Krul to the club and I think he's a terrific goalkeeper.
"Derek Llambezee was the director of football.
Derek Llambias was the managing director.
I'm lending my experience as a manager for all those years—10 years at Wimbledon, two years at Nottingham Forest, two years winning promotion at Luton and, of course, almost two years at Newcastle.
He spent seven years at Wimbledon, less than a year at Nottingham Forest and five months at Newcastle United.
He did spend two years at Luton Town and won promotion. But only after getting them relegated.
Besides that, everything else he has said has been spot on.