The Daily Box Score May 9, 2009: Texas Rangers vs Chicago White Sox

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The Daily Box Score May 9, 2009: Texas Rangers vs Chicago White Sox
(Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

This is a new concept that I have been thinking about doing for a long time, that being the past couple minutes. Personally I am a fan of baseball, but I can barely stand watching it for there is more crotch readjusting than actual action, and if I wanted that, well lets just say that's what the Internet is for.

Anyways, what I do enjoy the most about baseball are the stats. Baseball is known for its stats, and one of the most important parts of the stat keeping process is the box score.

So, I have decided to write a daily column, and by daily I mean whenever I remember/motivated to do it, dedicated to the box score of a random game, and by random I mean one that's final score seems interesting to write about.

Now here comes the meat of this new concept, and that is I am going to write a recap of the random game of choice based solely on what is in the boxscore. If you want to know what really happened you can tensely watch SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight, and pray that they actually cover the game of choice for more than half a minute.

So here we go, if you like this concept please write kindly comments, and if you don't, also please write kindly comments.

May 9, 2009 White Sox 3, Texas Rangers 2

A pitching duel between two teams that have never been considered rivals saw John Danks of the Chicago White Sox beat the team that used to have the rights to his right (and left) arm, the Texas Rangers.

Danks came into the game with his eyes set on getting triple digit strike outs, but only ended up with double digits, with a total of ten.

"I had circled this series ever since the Rangers traded me for McCarthy a couple years back, and I told my mom, 'if there is one thing I am going to do before I die, it is going to be to strike out at least a hundred Rangers in one game'. Of course my mom had to explain to me that was virtually impossible, but I didn't care and I still don't." Danks said in a post-game interview.

Pitching six innings and lined up for the win, Danks was relieved by Matt Thornton who temporarily dashed Danks dreams of revenge by giving up a run to tie the game and making Danks ineligible for the win.

But in the bottom of the seventh, opposing pitcher Kevin Millwood gave up what would  become the game winning run, ultimately giving Scott Linebrink the win.

"We all knew how much 'Danksy' wanted this one", a remorseful Linebrink said while scrubbing the last soap suds off himself, "so I am going to personally appeal to the MLB to give Danks the win."

This of course is impossible to do, and when White Sox Manager, Ozzie Guillen, was asked about how much of a positive impact Linebrink's words and what will be failed appeal to the MLB, would have on the teams moral, Guillen replied with, "What the F*** is a moral? I'm Ozzie Guillen, I run this B****."

Other news: Andruw Jones who once was known as the best defensive CF is now almost a permanent DH, I wonder if they give out Gold Gloves for DH's?... Chris Getz was the starting 2B of the White Sox, that's news in itself... Ian Kinsler was the opposite of being a fantasy stud going only 1-5, lowering his average to a mortal .320... And finally, the best name in baseball, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, well I got nothing here, just love the great name, and even better nickname of "Salty".

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