When you’re as likable and famous as Dirk Nowitzki, you’re going to eventually find yourself beatboxing with a German DJ in a car driven by hot women. That’s just a fact.
A video of the Dallas Mavericks star forward recently came to light showing Nowitzki riding around downtown Dallas in the back of a hatchback with German house DJ Flula.
In the front seats are two Mavericks cheerleaders, who appear equal parts amused and embarrassed as the two German men sing, rap and goof off with the aid of a microphone and a portable mixing board.
The video was spotted by Royce Young of CBS Sports, and it begins with some rapping by Flula. The main event, however, involves Nowitzki belting out lines to the Rolling Stones song “Satisfaction”—a song the seven-footer has yet to memorize, it would appear.
The song is fine in the beginning but eventually rides off the rails. Nowitzki tries to remember the words, but the Stones lyrics eventually turn into a babble of syllables.
Here are some of the gems:
“And a mammal says.”
“Something dance around.”
“Aircraft carrier, oh!”
Flula and Nowitzki eventually end up back on track, artfully navigating some of the song's more difficult sections such as “No, no, no” and “Hey, hey, hey.”
The song ends on a soaring note, with the two large German men yelling “Dance!”
Impressed with Flula's skills, Nowitzki tweeted about the occasion and ended his tweet with the hashtag "#cantdance."
It was a valiant effort, Dirk. It takes a man to ride in a car that size and sing lyrics in your second tongue, knowing full well they’d end up on the Internet in front of thousands.
As they say in the movies, you had me at “clown tank triceratops.”
Follow me on Twitter, where @ClownTankTriceratops is probably already taken.