It was the best of times, it was the WWE Worst of the Week times.
Money in the Bank has come and gone, and we learned a few things this week: Daniel Bryan will main event SummerSlam, nobody cares about the Heavyweight Championship and John Cena can apparently speak Punjabi (he must have learned from Shawn Michaels).
This week we also saw Wade Barrett lose in under two minutes, which must have been his audition for joining 3MB.
Overall this week, the good did outrank the bad. But there was still some bad to be had. And that bad must be exposed!
That's what this article is for, to shed light on the eye-rolling, groin kicking and grandma powerbombing (sadly the original clip of Mae Young powerbomed through a table seems to have mysteriously disappeared from Youtube) nonsense that went on in WWE the past seven days.
Let's not waste anymore time and let's begin the celebration. The celebration of WWE's Worst of the Week!
Remember the time that Jim Duggan found WCW's TV title in the trash?
How long before Alberto Del Rio gets sick of carrying around all that extra weight and chucks his belt in the trash?
The Heavyweight Championship really took a beating this week.
First up on Raw, John Cena had the chance to pick any opponent he wanted for SummerSlam. I don't know, how about picking Alberto Del Rio, winning the Heavyweight Title too and becoming the greatest champ in history?
Nah, not interested. Choose the guy with the beard who lost the night before!
On SmackDown, Del Rio then lost cleanly to Randy Orton. Why? Just because.
Do you think that next week Orton will now demand a title match? It's doubtful, which basically means the title is meaningless to him.
This is the sort of thing that happens when you have six hours of TV to fill a week. Stories that should having meaning just happen to kill time.
Remember a few weeks ago when WWE tried to make a big deal out of the championship vs. championship match? I could have swore that happened, eh, maybe not. Now who wants to go dumpster diving?
I'm going to go out on a limb here, and perhaps say something incredibly controversial:
Nothing good or interesting is going to come from Vickie Guerrero becoming the General Manager of SmackDown again.
There, I said it.
In the never-ending, never-interesting rotation of General Managers in WWE, the company went back in time to reinstate Vickie on SmackDown.
She was just fired a couple weeks, and Vince McMahon brought her back. This will probably create friction with his daughter Stephanie McMahon. There is a problem here though, none of them are actual wrestlers.
Basically, instead of watching Teddy Long and Booker T continue their 17-year-long feud (at least if felt like that), we're now going to watch Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero play pawns in the McMahon family saga.
I don't want to dig that sucka!
You would think that Miz would have learned his lesson the first time he invited Paul Heyman onto Miz TV.
Or at least he should have learned it the second time.
Overall, Miz TV this week on SmackDown played out just fine. Heyman was involved, so there was no way it was going to flop.
What the segment did reek of though was creative boredom. We just don't need to see Heyman on Miz's show anymore. Better yet, we just don't need to see Miz's show anymore.
Heyman is unlikable. Miz is unlikable. But at least Heyman is supposed to be hated. Miz just comes off as so smarmy and obnoxious for a good guy that it's hard to choose who to boo.
Next time Heyman does something bad, let's just skip the talk show circuit and do something, anything, else.
Last week HHH was making fun of the Golden Girls, this week he went with an inside joke and wished Brad Maddox the best in his future endeavors.
In both instances, the look on his face made it seem like he thought he was making the two wittiest jokes in the history of mankind.
This is not the case.
In addition to this, Stephanie McMahon is just the worst person in wrestling. Arguably the entire world. She just comes off as completely unlikable in everything that she does. Her character is rude and condescending and needs to go away.
On Raw she appeared in Maddox's office and silenced him before acknowledging him in his office. Then she immediately ignored him to talk to her husband.
The bullying then started.
Why exactly are they so mean to Brad Maddox? Why is he a heel? Because he's not aware that he comes off as a dork?
Maddox's character is portrayed as a guy who just wants to make other people happy, but is a loser who still lives with his mom. Because of this, everyone is mean to him.
Instead of doing another one of these awful segments next week, can WWE just let us know why Stephanie has the power to fire Vickie and not fire Brad since she loathes him so much?
On Raw, Sheamus kicked an innocent man in the back.
He then mugged for the camera. Audiences groaned. Tears were shed. Channels were changed.
1-800-Brogue returned in which was probably the worst skit yet (which most believed wasn't humanly possible).
These bits should have ended when Daniel Bryan asked Sheamus if he called 1-800-Fella would he kick himself in the face. That was it. End of joke.
Bryan pointed out how ridiculous those segments were, and now they keep going where it will all lead to.... what? More people hating Sheamus?
Well, that's all for this week. Agree? Disagree? What was your worst moment of the week? Sound off below, and thanks for reading!