So, you're a Redskins fan?
Are you really? Sure, you know all the words to "Hail to the Redskins." You can name the weight of each of the Hogs and you know the astrological signs of Joe Gibbs' grandchildren. That's great and all, but there's one thing a true Redskins fan must always possess:
A pure, unbridled abhorrence of the Dallas Cowboys.
In case you forgot how much you despised "America's Team" (Right, "America's Team" should be the moniker for a franchise with barely an ounce of success in the last 15 seasons) or just wanted to reaffirm your hatred, this list should give you an idea of what it really means to detest the silver and blue.
1. No matter how much you dislike Dan Snyder, it should pale in comparison to your disdain for Jerry Jones.
To his credit, Snyder has learned from his mistakes over the last decade and overseen a franchise that has been at least somewhat decent in recent years.
Jerry Jones, on the other hand, is a straight up terrible owner. In some respects, Redskins fans should be grateful; Jones has run his franchise into the ground and refuses to cede control to anyone, period. Still, saying you like Jerry Jones in Redskins country is akin to saying Gilbert Arenas did nothing wrong in his pregame handgun stunt.
2. This was one of the greatest games you've ever seen.
3. And then, just a few weeks later...
Chris Cooley reminded you that a little chaos can go a long way.
4. You hate Tony Romo, but you love him at the same time.
Similar to Jerry Jones, a Redskins fan's take on Tony Romo should be thus: you hate him because he routinely lights Washington up and he's impossible to get on the ground, but you love him because you know that as long as he's the quarterback, the Cowboys are stuck in neutral.
5. The words "We Want Dallas" mean something to you.
It doesn't matter if you were around in 1982 or not, these three words are immortalized in the history between the Redskins and the Cowboys. Any true Dallas-hater knows exactly what the situation was. In the 1982 playoffs, Washington dispatched Detroit and Minnesota rather easily, but the fans didn't really seem to care—all that appeared to matter was the prospective matchup with the Cowboys in the NFC Championship Game.
In what was possibly the greatest show of passion in the history of the rivalry, the stands at RFK Stadium shook as the fans chanted "We want Dallas!" during and after the games against Minnesota and Detroit. The fans got their wish—the Redskins beat the Cowboys 31-17 en route to winning Super Bowl XVII.
6. You listen to this song multiple times during Dallas Week.
7. Almost nothing gets you more excited than a Cowboys loss.
I've been a Redskins fan since 2000. There have been a lot of ups and downs, and so many memories concerning the Redskins and the Cowboys.
But one of the best days of my life was December 28, 2008, when the Cowboys traveled to play the Philadelphia Eagles in a Week 17 do-or-die game to the determine the NFC's final playoff spot. Now, I dislike the Eagles as much as anyone, but the final score—Philadelphia 44, Dallas 6—brought a smile to my face.
Besides a Redskins victory, nothing should lift the spirits of a Redskins fan more than an embarrassing loss by the Cowboys.
8. FedEx Field isn't close to a palace, but at least it's not a national joke.
No hatred of the Cowboys is complete without an unequivocal execration for the abomination that is Cowboys Stadium.
I've never personally been there, so I can't put a credible word forward (Redskins fans admit these things), but you don't need to be a genius to realize how silly that structure is. It's portrayed in the media as more of an amusement park or a museum than a stadium.
If anything, Redskins fans can take solace in the fact that other fans around the country despise the stadium as well.
9. This list of names makes you see red.
Tom Landry, Roger Staubach, Tony Dorsett, Bill Parcells, Emmitt Smith, Terrell Owens, Tony Romo, Roy Williams, Troy Aikman, Troy Aikman (analyst edition; and, for that matter, Joe Buck), Jerry Jones, Dez Bryant, Jason Witten, DeMarcus Ware, Clint Longley (I'm glad I wasn't around for that one)...
This list could go on and on.
10. You know your history, and you don't twist the facts.
The Cowboys have five Super Bowl championships to the Redskins' three. They've been to eight Super Bowls to Washington's five, and they've won the NFC East 20 times to the Redskins' eight.
The Cowboys lead the rivalry by a rather significant margin, 62-44-2. By all accounts, its been a rivalry owned by the bad guys. But as a Redskins fan, you accept this. You don't try to make up stats in bar brawls or think of convoluted reasons why the burgundy and gold is better than the Star.
Redskins fans are a smart bunch, and they're fine with their history. Sure, the Cowboys are the leader in the clubhouse—but does that really matter? Redskins fans will go to their graves knowing that it's special to cheer on the team in the nation's capital.
It's all about the present, the past is gone. And right now, it's looking a lot brighter for the fans in D.C. than it is for fans in the wasteland of Northeast Texas.