Image via ign.com / Moreno Valley Police Department
"Halt! You're under arrest! Put the salami down and step away from the Build-A-Bear!"
Weird arrests happen all the time, but it's a scientifically proven fact that they're 10 times more interesting when they happen to people in the world of sports.
Maybe it's a sense of invincibility—or perhaps it's just the shoes—but something about big-time athletics causes athletes and other sports figures to perpetrate some incredibly embarrassing run-ins with the law.
The following are some of the weirdest arrests ever seen in the world of sports. They're everything from pointless and embarrassing to downright shameful.
Put a neck brace on, because you're about to shake your head more than is healthy.
One of the richest athletes in the world was arrested for stealing a smart phone.
It sounds like a made up story, but Floyd Mayweather was arrested after his girlfriend contacted authorities claiming the boxing champ had stolen her iPhone.
“Money” Mayweather was arrested by Las Vegas police, charged with grand larceny and released on $3,000 bail. He also had one of the most amazing mug shots you’ll ever see.
Weirdness Level: Needlessly taking a man’s stapler.
Although he wasn’t formally charged with a crime, Randall Simon—perpetrator of the infamous Sausage-Gate scandal—was arrested and booked for misdemeanor battery after clubbing a woman in an Italian sausage costume during one of the famous sausage races at Miller Park.
Simon ended up paying a $432 fine and apologizing to Mandy Block, the woman he had whacked over the head.
Weirdness Level: Sausage music.
In technical terms, Tawny Kitaen is an actress.
In reality, she is a card-carrying crazy person who shot a few music videos in the ‘80s and ended up married to former MLB pitcher Chuck Finley.
The marriage wasn’t exactly a model example of matrimony, however, and Kitaen was arrested for domestic abuse after kicking her husband repeatedly with her stiletto high heels.
Kitaen claimed Finley took steroids and was addicted to marijuana and alcohol, to which Finley quipped, "I can't believe she left out the cross-dressing."
Weirdness Level: Oscar De La Fishnets
The strange story of Titus Young's arrests began in May, when Young was arrested for driving under the influence in San Clemente, Calif.—unfortunate, but not a “weird” occurrence.
The situation took a strange turn, however, when Young was released from jail and arrested again later in the day after climbing the fence of a Moreno Valley tow yard and trying to steal back his impounded car.
For those of you keeping track at home, that’s two arrests in one day, with a 15-hour timespan between the incidents.
Young would end up getting arrested again five days later after allegedly breaking into a home in San Clemente, taking his tally to three incarcerations in one week. Young has also been charged with the robbery of a convenience store, which allegedly took place before his initial arrest.
Young’s father claims his son is struggling with a mental disorder stemming from multiple sports concussions.
How Weird?: Waking up to the same day over and over again.
GIF via Tumblr
Slaps lawyer on butt, gets 30 days in jail.
Former NFL wideout Chad Johnson was in court this June pleading for leniency regarding a parole violation when the judge told him to thank his lawyer for doing a good job on his case.
Johnson obliged by patting his attorney on the rear—a move that had half the courtroom laughing and the judge seething. Seeing the tap as a sign of disrespect, the judge refused Johnson’s plea deal and sentenced him to 30 days in jail.
Johnson apologized to the judge and was released after serving a week of his sentence.
Weirdness Level: Voldemort hugs.
Taco Bell is the ultimate destination for a night on the town, but it’s supposed to be your next-to-last stop, not your final destination.
Baylor football players Willie Jefferson and Josh Gordon made the mistake of retiring early one night in 2010 while waiting in line at the drive through at a T-Bell.
Police officers responded to calls about a car idling in the middle of the fast-food restaurant’s drive-thru lane and ended up arresting the two men for drug possession after finding marijuana in the car.
So not only did these guys wind up in handcuffs, they didn’t even get their tacos. Talk about a terrible night.
Weirdness Level: "He's already pulled over, he can't pull over any further!"
Shooting yourself is one of the dumbest things you can do while carrying a concealed weapon, but shooting yourself in a club surrounded by other people is the dumbest thing you can do while packing heat.
The former Giants wideout managed to pull off this little stunt in 2008 when he accidentally popped himself in the thigh while partying at the Latin Quarter night club in New York.
The incident happened when Burress’ gun slid down his leg as he was being escorted into the VIP section. Burress reached for the gun, fumbled with it and POP—two years in prison on felony weapons charges.
Weirdness Level: “Stop Hitting Yourself” angel.
God works in mysterious ways, and he really proves it to you when you come home and find a naked former collegiate running back shaving in your tub.
A New Mexico woman and her children returned to their home after a day at church camp to discover a nude man in their house making use of the amenities.
The naked intruder was former Texas Tech running back Ronnie Daniels, who had found his way into their home, stripped down and began bathing while the family was out.
Daniels had dropped his clothes in their hamper, shaved and was listening to the radio before being discovered, and was arrested after fleeing the scene.
Weirdness Level: Naked genie showering in your home.
Few scenarios embody the phrase “Let's get weird” more than the infamous Viking “Love Boat” incident.
In October of 2005, 17 Vikings players set sail on the waters of Lake Minnetonka with lust in their hearts.
Boaters witnessed players with women on two separate vessels indulging in various sexual acts in full view of the public, and police responded to the scene.
Four players were arrested in all, including then-Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper and cornerback Fred Smoot. All were charged with indecent conduct, disorderly conduct and lewd or lascivious conduct.
Weirdness Level: White Goodman.
Getting pulled over is already an awkward situation, but nothing cuts through the ice like greeting the officer at your window with the sight of your naked lower body.
Former MLB infielder José Lind did such a thing in 1996 when he was arrested in Tampa Bay on suspicion of DUI. Lind was pulled over by the officers, who quickly realized the man in the car was completely naked from the waist down.
Lind was described as “visibly drunk,” but officers were unable to conduct a field sobriety test due the whole him not wearing pants thing.
Weirdness Level: Invitation to the “Pants Party.”
More. Car. Nudeness.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back out on the roads, I hit you with more sports people stripping down to their birthday suit and clambering into automobiles.
This instance involves former Detroit Lions defensive line coach Joe Cullen, who got ripped to the gizzard on booze and pulled into a Wendy’s drive-thru wearing absolutely nothing.
That’s right—100 percent naked. A manager at Wendy’s told Cullen to pull forward and wait for them to bring the food out, but instead of a cup of chili or delicious Frosty, the cops showed up and arrested him for indecent and obscene conduct.
Weirdness Level: Headless drive-thru prank.
Stun guns, nudity and football moves—what more could you ask for out of any one sports arrest?
Redshirt freshman football player Tyler Patrick Thomas was found naked on the couch in a stranger’s home by police in 2010. Officers asked Patrick to get on the ground, but instead of complying, the 19-year-old hopped into a three-point football stance and charged.
Officers fired their stun guns and brought Patrick down, and ended up arresting the “absolutely intoxicated” young man on suspicion of criminal trespass, criminal mischief and resisting arrest.
Weirdness Level: Thad Castle on drugs.
Never get between a man and his fourth meal.
The term “hangry” was born the night Kansas defensive end Dion Rayford’s order was messed up by a Taco Bell in 1999.
Rayford had ordered two chalupas, but ended up only receiving one. No big deal, right? Wrong.
Rayford had an emotional meltdown as delicious as a steak quesadilla and plowed his 6’3”, 270-pound body into the drive-thru window, breaking the frame and lodging himself in the tiny space.
Police responded to the scene and arrested Rayford, who will go down as an American hero and a Fourth Meal Fairness activist.
I can't be the only one starving at this point in the slideshow.
Weirdness Level: Cookie Monster on a bender.
Najeh Davenport pooped in a sleeping woman’s closet. That’s basically it.
To be a little more detailed, the former Green Bay Packers fullback was arrested in 2002 after human feces was discovered in the hamper of a Barry University student.
The woman was Mary McCarthy, who claimed to have awoken in the middle of the night and saw Davenport defecating into a hamper stored in her closet. Davenport was arrested and charged with second-degree burglary and a misdemeanor count of criminal mischief.
Davenport initially denied perpetrating the crime, saying “Where’s the evidence? Where’s the manure?”
This is it, people. This is the best defense statement ever uttered in the U.S. legal system.
Weirdness Level: Doo-doo butter.
The year was 2005 and the times were strange for the Carolina Panthers, who had to contend with the fact that two of their cheerleaders had been caught having sex with each other in a Florida club.
The cheerleaders involved were Angela Ellen Keathley and Renee Thomas, who were arrested after locking themselves in the bathroom and assaulting a patron at a nightclub in Tampa Bay.
Their activities backed up the line and caused angry reaction when they emerged. A woman waiting in line confronted the cheerleaders for holding up the line and was allegedly struck in the face by Thomas (the blonde woman).
Both were arrested and charged for various crimes, including battery, disorderly conduct and obstruction of an officer.
Weirdness Level: An evening in the ha-tub at the Welshly Arms.