Although I am a little disappointed with the complete lack of creativity I've seen from all of these t-shirt wanters on the site, I have come up with a guaranteed way to get one of the coveted items.
Go to any store that sells white t-shirts.
Buy the t-shirt.
Go to any store that sells sharpies or, if you want a little something special, puff-paint.
Buy said products.
Ship the shirt and sharpie(s) along with a return package and $15 to me. I'll accept cash or check (please allow up to 15 days for check to clear). Email me for the address.
You should get a custom t-shirt back in 4-8 weeks.
You could also attempt to make one yourself but I wouldn't recommend it.