There’s petty, then there’s “Twitter battle with a mascot” petty.
A clash of sports personalties occurred on Wednesday night involving two unlikely individuals—one was an embittered and jealous man who wears a suit and regularly starves for attention. The other was a mascot.
Mike Florio of "ProFootballTalk.com" took a turn for the troll-ish when he decided to engage in a Twitter battle with Jaxson DeVille—the Jacksonville Jaguar mascot.
The analyst-on-mascot throwdown was spotted by Rick Chandler of SportsGrid, and no—you can’t write this stuff.
The conversation was started by the big cat, who called out Florio for an inaccuracy he had published in an article about renovations being done on the Jaguars’ EverBank Field.
Florio responds with a little cat humor: Chester Cheetah. We see what you did there.
Jaxson isn’t done. He doesn’t like to be compared to that cheese-hawking sellout Chester.
Props to @ProFootballTalk for Capitalizing on people's lack of desire to Google search the web themselves for articles about their team.— Jaxson DeVille (@JaxsonDeVille) June 20, 2013
No one makes fun of Florio’s website and lives to tell the kittens about it. He comes charging back with an “at least I’m not a hobo in a goofy outfit,” and oh boy, it’s on like a donkey thong. You know what I mean.
@JaxsonDeVille . . . Props to you for finding a mild upgrade from your gig as Eric the Clown.— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) June 20, 2013
Rule No. 1 for insulting a guy who has spent 17 years of his life in a cat suit and dealing with all the jokes that come with it—don’t go for mascot jokes. They’ve heard them all.
“@ProFootballTalk: Jaxson Props for finding mild upgrade from gig as Eric the Clown.” we're both seen as clowns but I can take my suit off!— Jaxson DeVille (@JaxsonDeVille) June 20, 2013
Then the wallet-measuring came out. Florio gets more traffic than you, therefore is a superior life form.
“@ProFootballTalk:Yes, it's very hard making ends meet owning a website that does 50-100M page views a month.” Pretentious much?— Jaxson DeVille (@JaxsonDeVille) June 20, 2013
Perhaps the most entertaining part of this entire exchange is how it ended—the mascot, who’s currently enjoying his offseason, says he doesn’t have time for the big shot NFL analyst.
Mike @ProFootballTalk I Can keep busting U up all night but I got important things to do like cleaning my litter box now go copy and paste!— Jaxson DeVille (@JaxsonDeVille) June 20, 2013
Sometimes you have to know when to fold them, and one of those times is when you’re arguing with an angry, witty cat with an axe to grind.
They might make you look a pompous jerk over social media. Or you might do that to yourself.