So you want to date a professional cheerleader, huh? Big surprise. They're beautiful, they know how to move and most of them presumably like sports to a certain degree.
Cheerleaders can be polarizing—most people seems to love them or hate them. Who knows where the hate stems from, though. Perhaps some lingering high school resentment of a few nasty girls who wouldn't give a certain someone (you) the time of day?
Whatever, I'm not your therapist.
The fact is, the cheerleaders at your high school probably were terrible. Most teenage girls are terrible. So are most teenage boys. But eventually most of us grow up and professional cheerleaders grow up into much more desirable women than their teenage counterparts.
That's probably why there's not a single guy in my entire life that would turn down a date with one. It's actually true—I conducted a pretty extensive poll, which led me to believe that very few straight, single men anywhere wouldn't be interested.
So the question isn't, "Do you want to date a professional cheerleader?" It's how to get one interested in you! No easy task, let me tell you—these girls are bombarded with male attention everywhere they go.
But I got the inside scoop personally from the cheerleaders I know by soliciting tips on some of the dos and don'ts for guys looking to land a date with them.
Well, most of the tips were personally provided. I did come up with a couple all on my own, based on very extensive research.
So enjoy the fruits of my labor and these 20 tips on how to score a date with a professional cheerleader. This is the first day of the rest of your life.
Name: Stormi, Tennessee Titans Cheerleader
Stormi Says: Don't even think about trying to show her up in the cheerleading department. Challenging her in the fan department is one thing, but you don't want to hit a girl where she lives.
And May I Add: That probably doesn't eliminate many straight, single guys out there, but those male college cheerleaders are just out of luck. Sorry, cheer boys.
Name: Alexandra, Atlanta Hawks Cheerleader
Allie Says: Confidence in a man is very sexy. Overconfidence is not. So be bold and introduce yourself, but don't be too bold and ask her what she wants for breakfast the next day.
That goes for social media contact too. Saying hello is good, cyber-stalking is bad.
Also, don't go on and on about the cheerleading thing—it can be weird—let her bring it up. And seriously don't ask her to get your jersey, ball or anything else signed by the players. Not. Happening.
And May I Add: If getting your jersey signed by a dude is one of the first things that comes to mind when you meet a cheerleader, you should probably be hanging with your fellow fanboys rather than bird-doggin' the chicas.
Name: Stephanie U.,Miami Heat Cheerleader
Bio: Heat Dancer Bio
Stephanie Says: Actually, it's not just Stephanie. From what I can tell, every single member of the Heat dance team lists either God, their mother or both their parents as their personal hero. There may have been one or two that I missed, but the majority did.
This means if you want to kick it with any one of the absolutely en fuego Heat girls, you're going to have to be down with the man upstairs or her mother. Probably both, actually.
And May I Add: I follow a lot of cheerleaders on Twitter and they tweet out more Bible verses per capita than any other group of people I follow. So you might want to dust off that Bible of yours and start brushing up.
Melissa: Atlanta Falcons Cheerleader Alumni
Melissa Says: Don't be intimidated by her love of professional cheerleading. Respect it. Above all else, do not mock it! Also, do not be a fan of the rival team because that's a deal breaker, fellas.
And May I Add: Don't go practicing these tips on Ms. Melissa because she already found a man who mastered all three of her criteria, and they're engaged. Take her words of wisdom and use them elsewhere.
Name: Alyssa H., Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader
Alyssa Would Say: I couldn't get in touch with Alyssa, but based on my research into what she's posted online, she's got some good advice.
She attended the American University of Rome and her favorite place to vacation is Venice, Italy. Of course she did. Cheerleaders, and girls in general, love to travel.
They love travel so much that they'll even do USO tours through Afghanistan just to get a stamp in the old passport. And to support the troops, of course! Jeez, I love the troops too.
And May I Add: It's not that men don't like to travel at all, but most of them don't consider it a future goal or prioritize it in the same way. So if you ever happen upon a cheerleader, travel should be a chief topic of conversation. You'll thank me later.
Name: Brita, Seattle Seahawks Cheerleader
Bio: Sea Gal Bio
Brita Would Say: I didn't speak directly with Brita, but this is what she would likely suggest based on my research. Staying fit is important to her, so she tries to do something active every day. Among her favorite activities is hot yoga, which is like regular yoga but much sweatier.
Signing up for hot yoga isn't likely going to help your game after you meet a cheerleader, but it could be an excellent place to meet one in the first place. And scoring an introduction is half the battle.
And May I Add: She also spent plenty of time studying abroad. Remember: Traveling and yoga.
Name: Tandra, Tennessee Titans Cheerleader
Tandra Says: Tandra is a busy girl, so she didn't have time to get into the details. However, she insists that any man who wants to take her out better be able to "catch a pass."
And May I Add: I'm really not sure if that was some kind of innuendo or she's just looking for a guy who is decent at sports. Either way, I like it.
Name: Brandy K., Atlanta Falcons Cheerleader Alumni
Brandy Says: Start practicing your dance moves right now. Like right now. Cheerleaders know how to move on the dance floor and like a man who can keep up. And, no, grinding up on them from behind doesn't count at all.
Also, be prepared to be supportive and patient in public. Cheerleaders can attract more drunken, drooling dudes at a bar than quarter beer night, so not getting too worked up over it will get her worked up over you.
And May I Add: Well, not over you. Brandy is actually married to a man who won her heart by shoving an entire chocolate cake in his mouth the night they met. You could never top that one.
Name: Jessica Haley, Tennessee Titans Cheerleader
Jessica Says: She is looking for a smarty pants—an educated and intelligent man is always a plus. Don't be afraid to show off your brains instead of your brawn every now and again.
And if you screw it up, flowers and candy should be enough to get you out of trouble. Maybe throw in a gift card if you really screwed the pooch. Actually, those things are all good even when you're not in trouble!
And May I Add: Not literally your brains, by the way. This isn't The Walking Dead or whatever.
Name: Jena, Tennessee Titans Cheerleader
Jena Says: She's not down with the informality of the dating scene these days. If you want to score a date with her, you're going to have to do something that might feel a little unfamiliar to you: Pick up the telephone and ask her out like they used to do it in olden times.
Aside from not wanting to be propositioned with a text that reads "yo dinner wit me 2nite, werd?" she's actually pretty laid back and, like most cheerleaders, not nearly as high-maintenance as you may think.
But you're going to have to pick up the phone to have a snowball's chance in hell. Can you handle that?
And May I Add: Jena also isn't into clingy, jealous types. This means she's normal and awesome. Clingy, jealous types have no place in society. Their place is on reality TV.
Name: Lindsay P., Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader
Lindsay Says: Her favorite reality show is Keeping up with the Kardashians, which is one of the least surprising things ever. If there's anything I've learned from reading the bios of far too many cheerleaders, it's that they love terrible reality television.
And May I Add: I mean terrible. So if you ever dream of curling up on the couch for a cozy night in with your hot cheerleader girlfriend, you better start watching The Bachelor right now.
It takes awhile to get used to watching it without screaming at the TV.
Name: Gabrielle Lexa, Atlanta Hawks Cheerleader
Gabrielle Says: Looks aren't everything, which means you're in luck. It's important to have a sense of humor and be passionate, ambitious and honest when it counts. You can lie about what you had for breakfast, though.
Basically, she says to be respectful to women in general, try to avoid the desire to become crazy amounts of clingy and don't even try dating the whole cheerleading squad. Girls talk.
And May I Add: Girls do talk. So take her advice and don't go chasing after everything in a dress. Be selective, unless you're in no position to be selective—in which case, I'm sorry.
Alexis Says: Take a chance at starting a conversation—cheerleaders aren't shy and most aren't looking for wallflowers. Try to make her laugh, but without being a cornball.
Also, don't be jealous. Cheerleaders have a very active lifestyle and are always meeting new people. You have to be comfortable with her having a life outside her relationship.
And May I Add: She also said just to be yourself. But if you happen to be a skeez or creeper, try being someone else. Or just skipping the dating scene altogether! Just my two cents.
Name: Kirsten, Atlanta Hawks Cheerleader
Kirsten Says: If you want to get the attention of a cheerleader, you need to remember to get your exercise on! They keep it fit and like a man who at least attempts to do the same.
In fact, the gym might be the right place to find her.
Also, work on that sense of style. You don't need to take it over the top, but she wants someone on her arm that can match her fab—or at least get pretty close.
And May I Add: That's how ladies down south tend to roll! It's warmer there year round and everyone is showing more skin. If you don't think you can hang in the ATL, you might want to look for a cheerleader up north.
Name: Kristen, Atlanta Hawks Cheerleader
Kristen Says: Cheerleaders get a lot of male attention, so remember to be a gentleman and try to do something unique—something that'll make you stand out from the other guys.
Something "unique" does not include any of your can't-miss pickup lines. No, it didn't hurt when she fell from heaven, but it's going to hurt when she shoots you down cold.
And May I Add: A point that Kristen actually made herself: Don't be a social media creeper. Don't try hitting her up if your avatar is an egg, you are following boatloads of people and only your friend Booger is following you back.
That kind of thing sets off so many red flags.
Dulce Says: You don't have to be a total prince charming as long as you've got a nice smile and good sense of humor. She also likes a guy who is comfortable in front of a camera because cheerleaders are always taking pictures of everything.
So don't be shy, but also don't be overly aggressive.
And May I Add: You have to walk a fine line if you want to land a fine lady. Dulce is a very good example, but I happen to know she can be wooed by a man who loves his sushi. It's her favorite, so make it your favorite too.
Name: Kaitlin Spehr, Florida Panthers Cheerleader
Kaitlin Says: She's a goofball who likes all the bases to be covered. A guy with a great sense of humor that can make her laugh is a must. Also a must are regular showers—seriously, don't be nasty.
Pull up your baggy pants, tuck your shirt in and hit the gym.
Dos: Open doors, send flowers for no reason and maybe even offer to clean her cheering boots. Don'ts: Whistle or make weird animals noises to get her attention. She is not an animal, nor are you.
And May I Add: I concur on most of the above. I actually saw some dude barking and thrusting in the direction of a woman on the subway not that long ago. Something tells me he didn't get her number.
Name: Sabrina C., Atlanta Falcons Cheerleader Alumni
Sabrina Says: If you want to take her to dinner, she doesn't want to spend the first 20 minutes talking shop—being quizzed with football trivia or asked about the girls' locker room. She said it's all pillow fights and flying feathers. Case closed.
Oh, and don't ask a cheerleader if she's slept with any players. It's against the rules, most don't do it and that's a rude ass thing to ask someone to begin with.
And please, don't ask her to dance for your friends. Does she look like a dolphin at SeaWorld?
And May I Add: No. No, she does not. So don't treat the girl like one! Just be a nice non-weirdo without a crazy jealous streak and maybe, just maybe, Sabrina will go out with you.
Note: We're homies and I'm down to play matchmaker, but I have a thorough screening process…so be warned.
Name: Morgan: Boston Celtics Cheerleader
Morgan Says: Be a hygienic grownup. Put yourself together, splash on a little cologne, shine your shoes and remember things like deodorant. Also, be a gentleman! Opening doors and sending chocolates are not antiquated notions.
She also says be yourself and don't be intimidated, but don't ask to be hooked up with other hot teammates. Just be real, not a real jerk.
And May I Add: Seriously, I have to reiterate those last two points. If you think you're striking out with a cheerleader, what are the odds she's going to set you up with one of her friends? Duh.
Name: Alicia Dove, Atlanta Falcons Cheerleader Alumni
Alicia Says: Nobody likes a downer, especially a cheerleader—it's literally their job to be the most excited person in every room—so save the drama for your mama.
She also says you better like sports and not just cheerleaders. If she wants to talk about the Falcons game and you just stare at her like she has something on her forehead, a quick kick to the curb is coming your way.
And May I Add: Alicia is my kind of woman. She's a badass broad with a lot to say, so you better be able to keep up…and stand down, when necessary.
**You should definitely follow me @blamberr because I'm the only thing standing between you and a happily-ever-after with the cheerleader of your dreams.