SSNN: Leinart's Multi-Purpose Bong

The sports satire site Serious Sports News Network, the Onion of professional sports, has discovered a new target: Matt Leinart. SSNN decided to spin the Leinart bikini beer-bong fiasco in their most recent post Leinart Claims he Always Drinks out of a Be

by Kyle Bunch (Columnist)

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267 reads

Humor

April 07, 2008

Humor, NFL, NFC West, Arizona Cardinals, Matt Leinart, Arizona Sports

The sports satire site Serious Sports News Network, the Onion of professional sports, has discovered a new target: Matt Leinart. SSNN decided to spin the Leinart bikini beer-bong fiasco in their most recent post Leinart Claims He Always Drinks out of a Beer Bong.

"I don't even own any cups, glasses or mugs. There isn't a single one in my house, so really there’s no choice but to use the bong. Every drop of liquid that I drink goes through that bong. Orange juice, soda, tea, coffee, milk -- everything," Leinart insisted. "It's just so much more efficient. I'm a busy guy, and I don't have much time to sit around and drink my morning coffee, so I just bong it. It's important to let it cool down a little first, though."

Hey Dad, no time to enjoy that morning cup of Joe? And you Mom, can't seem to work your protein-shakes into your busy schedule? Then it's time you invest in a beverage-bong! They're not only for hard drinking.

Beverage Bongs are a practical tool for the fast-paced working man, or woman, that's always on the go. No time for nursing your infant? Baby-Bong, the pint-sized beverage bong, is just the tool for you!

Humor

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About the Author Kyle Bunch (columnist)

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