Jake Peavy Almost Done Working On Bike

ChatterBalks by Senior Writer Written on April 07, 2008
Peavy

SAN DIEGO - In the middle of his complete game victory over the Dodgers Saturday, Padres ace Jake Peavy reported that he was “super close” to being finished working on his bike.

“Yeah, this is all bike grease on my hands,” reported Peavy after striking out James Loney. “At first I thought that I should just fix my old bike, but then I was like, ‘Hey, I could make a fixed-gear.’ I figured that’d be pretty sweet.”

Peavy, whose hands were visibly scuffed as a result of the bike grease, didn’t stop there.

“After I got Russell Martin to ground into a double play, I realized I was done with the new bike so I better look at the old one. It had a bunch of problems, so I had to get to work.

“I actually pitched the next three innings underhanded and lefty, just fixing the gears and stuff. Plus the bead in my back tire broke, so I had to stitch a new one out of the rosin bag.”

The Dodgers, however, were not so sanguine about Peavy’s on-field extracurricular activities.

“Look, we all live in LA so we understand the importance of fighting pollution by not driving, and we support that,” said manager Joe Torre. “But doing it on the field provides an unfair advantage. If Jeff Kent hits a line drive up the middle and it hits Peavy’s bike, that’s like an extra fielder. Either both pitchers, Jake and [Dodgers starter] Brad [Penny] should work on their bikes on the mound or neither of them should.”

When informed of Torre’s comments, Peavy said “Brad Penny is absolutely welcome to fix his bike on the mound.” He then took a moment before adding, “But he won’t, ’cause he’s a fat piece of junk.”

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written on April 07, 2008 Humor

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