Scoring a Goal: Better Than Sex?

Andrew McNair gets all sentimental on the subject of scoring goals.

by Andrew McNair (Senior Writer)

38 comments

1184 reads

April 07, 2008

April 7, 2008

Currently UnEdited

This article has not been edited yet.

Soccer, World Football, Sports & Society, Satire

Scoring a goal, to me, is simply the most satisfying rush on earth. I could even argue it’s better than sex.

If you have to work as hard for sex as you do to score a goal, then my friend, you are with the wrong woman!

It doesn’t matter which level you play at or even who you’re playing against, but there’s something about scoring a goal that just feels fantastic.

Scoring a goal is arguably the best feeling, even better if you are a striker! We live on goals, with a goal on Saturday boosting us all the way till next weekend. It doesn’t even really matter how it goes in—top corner or deflection—that feeling of relief, mixed with absolute pleasure is simply unequalled in my opinion.

Yes, I have many more feelings to feel in the future—fatherhood for instance—but oh boy, I’ll love it just as much if not more, when my lad hits his first goal.

I’ll leave the daddy talk there, before my girlfriend has heart palpitations or gets too excited.

My latest goal came after two matches sitting on the sideline watching my team draw and lose. I can’t even describe the feelings that came across me as I scored inside 15 minutes on my return.

A rebound off the keeper, but it didn’t bother me and the satisfaction and sheer joy was immense! We went on to win 5-1 that day, and my goal may have been overshadowed, but not for me.

Inside me, I know I made the greatest contribution I could make! Nothing will change that!

I’m not going to claim I live from goal to goal or even from game to game, but when I’m lucky enough to get that feeling—I treasure it!

Here’s to scoring goals, one of life’s true pleasures...

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comments (38) write a comment »

reply to comment by Simon
3 months ago

I'm sure my girlfriend is going to kill me for this, but...

Any sporting event, where you complete your goal - that is, to win - the rush of adrenaline, the relief and the excitement, the thrill of the chase and of the event, can definitely be as good, if not better than sex.

Just dont tell my girlfriend I said that!
reply to comment by Andrew
3 months ago

Thanks for the pick Simon. Really enjoyed writing this one and as you said it can apply to anything.....touch down pass....3 pointer....or even scoring a try!
1. by Simon
  from 3 months ago
  
  Not at all mate, I think it deserves it. I must admit I'm having a very bad day and this article has brightened my day somewhat - firstly it made me laugh (don't take that the wrong way), and made a very serious point about sport in general and why we follow sport.
reply to comment by Ashish
3 months ago

great Andrew, it has been sometimes now that i have come across such types of article. great read. But on a serious note did you really mean that?
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Yeah I did but I wanted to make it entertaining. I just love scoring goals and I've had that feeling since I was 7 or 8. Just love it!
reply to comment by Eric
3 months ago

Scoring a goal might is great. I've done it once, haven't played much...but the rest of football/soccer reminds me of what I do after sex. Go straight to sleep.
1. by Eric
  from 3 months ago
  
  Of course...I sound totally illiterate in the post above, so feel free to treat me accordingly.
reply to comment by Dan
3 months ago

Great article. I agree with you completely, scoring a goal is a pretty awesome experience!
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Thanks for the Pick Dan.
reply to comment by Mark
3 months ago

this is all well and good. I think Women should be banned from reading this article though. I mean they do not like us watching or playing football anyway. Now they might try and ban the whole concept of Football, or all sports in general.
1. by Mark
  from 3 months ago
  
  Also if scoring a normal goal is better than sex, then what on earth must scoring the winner i a cup final be like.......
2. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  What dreams are made of! Imagine watching it over and over and listening to the commentary. WOW haha.....
  
  I guess we will have to get Salaar to interview someone who has actually done just that!
3. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Thanks for the pick Mark
reply to comment by Shawn
3 months ago

Andrew I beg to differ.

Scoring a goal is not better than sex at all.

It frustrates me how much fans glorify goal-scoring. I have a bone to pick with you lot! We goalies are the ones that win games!!! :)

So to correct you Andrew, scoring a goal is not better than sex...the feeling you get when u fly parallel to the ground to make a finger-tip save over the left corner post in 92nd Minute injury time...now THAT'S better than sex. And I'm saying that from experience too! Other notables include: saving a penalty kick and a GOALIE scoring a goal.

Now on the flip side, letting a goal through your legs as a keeper is pretty much the same thing as finding out that you're in bed with a shemale.
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Haha good to hear from you Shawn. I must admit I've pulled off a couple of saves in my time of just mucking around that have gotten the blood pumping and got me to say wow did I just do that!
  
  So I'll agree with you Shawn that 'finger-tip save over the left corner post in 92nd Minute injury time' is better than sex.
2. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Thanks for the pick mate.
reply to comment by Paul
3 months ago

I guess this all depends on your partner. :)
1. by Salomon
  from 3 months ago
  
  lol Amen to that. It all depends on your partner!!
2. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Haha well believe me when I say I ain't complaining about mine ;)
3. by Simon
  from 3 months ago
  
  I will complain about mine if she doesn't give me back the remote...I want to watch Stoke against Palace!!!
4. by Mark
  from 3 months ago
  
  HAHA, closet Palace fan
reply to comment by Clement
3 months ago

Hey Andrew, Great Article, I completly know what you are talking about, However I'll say, only the important goals you score are better than sex.
For example I remember that volley I stroke during an indoor competition, it was the semi final and we were drawing 4-4, after a corner the ball was headed by one of the player, bounced once, and came towards me, and i just volleyed it under the bar. That one really felt better than sex!!!!!

Btw, I have been inactive for a while, I had to go to South of France as my Grandpa passed away.
He used to play football when keeper were still playing with "beret-like" cap, and whool jumper...

I am happy to be back, and I hope I 'll come up with a good article soon.

And once again, keep it up...
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Sorry to hear that Clement but thanks for the comment. Sure you'll be back up and running in no time.
reply to comment by Bruce
3 months ago

Has anybody on this website actually had sex?
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Nah Bruce I just like to talk about it because I'm the only 23 year old in the world that hasn't......I presume you must have managed it a few times then? haha
  
  Yes I have sex Bruce and I have a loving girlfriend too for that matter. Thanks for being that guy......somebody was always going to say it........
reply to comment by Andrew
3 months ago

I wouldn't go so far as to agree with you Andrew, are you sure you're doing it right?

Honestly, I'm just joking around, no harm meant. I was a left halfback for years and I have to say that, when playing the 4-4-2 and running the overlap routes only to get an assist or two, it's an incredible rush when you get to score a goal. However, if I were given the opportunity to do one or the other on a Saturday afternoon, I probably wouldn't be lacing up my cleats and hitting the pitch.

But this article was a great read, keep up the interesting content!
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Thanks for the comment Andrew. 'To each their own' as we say in Bonnie Scotland
reply to comment by Tony
3 months ago

I especially loved the line 'it doesn't really matter how it goes in"
brilliant!
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Thanks for the comment Tony. Glad you liked it.
reply to comment by Alex
3 months ago

Imagine scoring a goal while having sex. Did I just blow your mind? haha
reply to comment by Bryan
3 months ago

So, if I have a great day on the basketball court, is it analogous to banging my girlfriend fourteen times in forty eight minutes...?
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Well no it would be better :P just kidding. I don't know if the feeling of that 3 pointer feels the same as a goal does to me. Only you can tell me that Bryan....but 3 times in 90 minutes aint so bad and it's a strikers dream :P
reply to comment by Steve
3 months ago

This article could easily apply to hockey as well, which I have played in organized leagues since I was 14. I remember my first goal vividly, and can recall details of dozens of times I put the puck in the back of the net easier than most of my sexual encounters! Fun little read, and well written, no less!
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Thanks Steve I'm glad you enjoyed it. It can definately apply to hockey and many more sports...
reply to comment by Tim
3 months ago

Well it's not your usual Andrew McNair article but it sure sends the message across.

As a fullback, I don't exactly agree with the joy that scoring might bring as it's way more exciting (in my own honest opinion) to slide in with that perfectly timed challenge to block a shot (or cross) and to save a goal by clearing off the line.

Anyways, great stuff man and congrats on the pick of the day!
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Thanks Tim for the pick and glad you enjoyed it.
reply to comment by M
3 months ago

I agree with Shawn and Andrew -and everyone I guess-, but I'm being more general. That moment when you enter a zone where you don't think about the action, the play just happens, works absolutely perfectly, and no matter how hard the graft to get there was, it feels like the easiest, most natural thing in the world. Like nothing would have stopped you. Not simply bruising the twine or making the game-saving block, but when the adrenaline is so crazy that you almost can't believe how easy and perfect the play you just made was. The "how the hell did I do that, actually who cares anyway, I could do it a million times" feeling... whether or not one is a good player! I know that's the way in football and ice hockey anyway.

... of course, the other explaination could be (I assume all leagues have the same "rule") that when the manager has nixed sex prematch anyway, what else would happen with that much testosterone in the blood mixed with a moment of pure glory?

...too much?

Good work. Congrats on the pick of the day!
1. by Andrew
  from 3 months ago
  
  Thanks mate I'm definately feeling that comment. The best moments are always the times you just remember the ball leaving your foot and it's perfect. It's all you!
  
  Anyway cheers for the pick of the day.