And Now...America's Favorite Game Show: Sport or Not a Sport?
We all know about the four major sports: football, basketball, baseball, and hockey. But, how many people know about the Great Outdoor Games? Bodybuilding? Are these things even sports? The argument could rage on for days on some of the things mentioned here.
(Note: This was orginally written for McMullen's Musings on March 12, 2009.)
Dogsledding/The Iditarod: Sport
In the Iditarod, dog sledders set out from Anchorage, Alaska, to spend two weeks out in the wilderness with only dogs to keep them company. They travel almost 1,200 miles in freezing cold temperatures. On top of that, PETA criticizes the race, citing cruelty issues. Anything that pisses PETA off is definitely a sport in my book. Sport.
Pole Dancing: Not A Sport
Yes, apparently, ESPN The Magazine considers this a sport; The United States championship is March 15. They even say, “Whoever says [it] isn’t a sport has clearly never done it.” It may be a great way to exercise for women, but if the competition can be held at Mr. McSleazy’s Strip Club down the road, it clearly isn’t something that should be shown by ESPN.
Bodybuilding: Not a Sport
When the winner of the competition looks like he’s going to explode if you even touch him, I’d be scared to give him the trophy for fear of destroying an entire city. It’s definitely not a sport if you’re rewarded for having arms bigger than some tree trunks.
I was watching ESPN one weekend and I actually watched speed billiards. I saw one player sink every single ball on the table in just over one minute. One minute! It takes me at least 20 to to the same thing.
Ballroom Dancing: On the Fence
On one hand, most people train for years to win one trophy in their lifetime. On the other hand, it can be unbelievably boring. I really don’t see how people could call it a sport, but I could see how it could be.
Synchronized Diving: Not A Sport
Two guys diving into the water at the same time, and if one screws up, the whole team loses? It just seems weird to me. How this ever came to be an Olympic sport, much less a regular sport, is beyond me.
I admit it…the main reason I watch basketball is to watch people stand up cheering when a player flies into the air and makes them go crazy with an earth-shattering dunk. Why ESPN hasn’t picked up on this sport is beyond me, but I’m sure if they picked up on it, everybody wouldn’t need chairs…they’d be standing up for the entire game.
Rhythmic Gymnastics: Not A Sport
Anything where a ribbon is part of the equipment is definitely not a sport. Sure, they have a ball, but from what I’ve seen, it just sits there while the competitors dance around it. Like synchronized diving, I just do not see how this became an Olympic sport.
Great Outdoor Games: Sport
Looking at the roster of events, I’d call it a Saturday in my hometown. It’s a shame that this kind of thing was canceled, because this competition will definitely put some hair on your chest.
World's Strongest Man: On The Fence
The only event that sounds like something normal people would do is the keg toss, and you would only do that if you’re drunk. On the other hand, I admire someone that can lift a stone that weighs four times what they do over their head. I definitely think that if these people were on steroids, they would wipe out small towns.
Have you ever seen a pirate ship? Those people exert massive amounts of energy just getting their ship to go the same speed as New York City traffic. Divide that by about 10, and that’s still a huge amount of energy.
Equestrian: Not A Sport
Anything where the major part of the competition is grooming is not a sport. I’ve seen some of these competitions, and they seem impossible for a gazelle, let alone a horse. Furthermore, what self-respecting horse would do these things on a regular basis?
Some people, including my girlfriend, think NASCAR is not a sport because all they do is make left turns all day. But how many sports do you know where you can have a tailgate party…in the middle of the field!?
Cheerleading: Not A Sport
All right…I’ve wanted to voice my opinion on this for a long, long time. Any sport where nobody knows how you get All-American status is definitely not a sport. Granted, the male cheerleaders do have it pretty good, but anything I can do from my own couch at home in front of my TV is not a sport. So sit back, pop open a soda, and watch girls flounce around in short skirts for no good reason.