The Doctor's Final WWE Recap List Part 2: Main Event

The Doctor Chris MuellerFeatured ColumnistMay 26, 2013

Illustration by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)
Illustration by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap WWE shows with a long list.

The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials too, just because I get bored during them.

This will be my final series of recap lists. Part one for Raw has been posted, and part three for SmackDown will be posted Sunday.
I try to interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the things we learned, loved and hated from the show


1. The show opens with Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston in a rematch.
2. WWE is trying to get Langston a Nike endorsement like Lebron James' with his little chalk routine.
3. Del Rio controls the first couple of minutes, but Langston is able to reverse a suplex to take control.
4. I just realized that Langston looks like he would fit right in with the Nation of Domination with his yellow, green and red stripes over a black singlet.
5. Del Rio low-bridges Langston over the top rope before he takes a suicide dive through the ropes onto Langston.
6. AJ distracts ADR by yelling at him, and Langston comes over and knocks him off the apron into the barricade as we head to a break.
7. AJ always puts so much energy and enthusiasm in her performances. She reminds me a lot of Lita in that way.
8. All AJ needs is a big tattoo on her arm and she would basically be a mini Lita.
9. It's too bad we don't get to see more of her in the ring.
10. Langston is in control when we return. He catches Del Rio coming off the ropes and hits three backbreakers before dropping Del Rio for a near fall.
11. If Langston is going to continue to wear low-cut boots and a singlet that stops a little short of where most would like it to, then he should at least be wearing knee pads.
12. He just has too much leg showing.
13. And he should also be wearing knee pads to protect his knees.
14. A guy his size needs to protect his knees as much as he can under constant strain.
15. Langston continues to ground Del Rio with holds and occasional strikes.
16. Del Rio's attempt at a comeback is cut short by a back suplex by Langston.
17. I really like that Langston doesn't just rely on power moves like a lot of guys his size would. He mixes in some actual wrestling.
18. Del Rio is able to connect with a tornado DDT to give him a few seconds, but the ref starts counting down both men right away.
19. Del Rio hits a Backstabber to Langston, but when he goes for his running side kick to the face, Langston pops up and hits a big clothesline for a near fall.
20. I actually hate that Del Rio uses the Backstabber as a signature move when The Colons use it as a finisher.
21. It would be different if Epico and Primo never adopted the move from Carlito, but they did, and it kind of seems wrong for someone else to use it while they are still around.
22. Ziggler must be giving Langston tips on how to sell, because when Del Rio finally connects with the side kick to the face, Langston sells it like a champ.
23. Langston gets pissed when a belly-to-belly only leads to a near fall, so he pulls down the shoulder straps of his singlet.
24. When Del Rio nearly locks in the Cross Armbreaker, Langston uses his power to lift Del Rio straight off the mat and drop him back down for another two count.
25. That is pure power. That wasn't like a powerbomb where both guys usually have to participate to pull it off. Langston lifted Del Rio, who is not a small man, like he was doing reps at the gym.
26. And for anyone who does not believe me when I say that it takes both guys to do a suplex, I will refer you to the incident where Bob Holly broke his neck during a botched suplex.
27. Del Rio hits an enziguri to the back of the head and then rolls Langston up for a quick pin to get the win.
28. I like when someone wins with one of their signatures instead of a finisher.
29. The finish also made it look like somewhat of an upset. Del Rio is obviously higher up on the fodd chain, but he looked like the underdog in this match, and that is how it should be with babyfaces in most cases.

30. I would love to see Langston somehow win the IC title while AJ wins the Divas title, making them the second three-person group to each have a belt.
31. Since Langston is a heel, and so is Wade Barrett, I do not see them having a singles match, so perhaps Langtson could be included in some kind of Triple Threat or Fatal 4-Way.
32. WWE should make this happen and have the World title, two midcard titles, Tag titles and Divas title held by two separate heel stables.
33. That would leave Cena as the sole babyface champion in WWE, and with Cena having history with both The Shield and Dolph Ziggler, it could lead to something awesome.
34. Imagine if The Shield and Ziggler's group conspired with Vickie to steal the WWE title from John Cena by having a six-man match between Cena, everyone in The Shield, Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston.
35. Cena would go into this match as a legitimate underdog, something that rarely seems to happen to him anymore. Obviously, Cena would be destroyed throughout the match, with a few flurries of offense here and there to pop the crowd.
36. Then when it came time to pin Cena and win the title, everyone starts to fight. The two stables face off, with The Shield having the one-man advantage. All hell would break loose and somehow Cena would grab someone for a quick pin during the mayhem and retain his title.
37. Cena would come out the winner, but he would look like someone who got lucky.
38. There, WWE. A free storyline. I honestly do not care if I see this happen at some point, because I would just be happy to know it happened.
39. Something like this might not be a good idea for a pay-per-view since every single male champion would be involved, but a special edition of Raw might work.
40. Here's a bonus idea: bring back the King of the Ring and have the match mentioned above take place before the final KOTR match.
41. The KOTR is a great concept that WWE should never have stopped using. Beating three people in one night to be crowned king has helped put over the likes of Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Steve Austin, Edge, Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle.
42. There have only been three Kings crowned in the past 10 years. Sheamus, William Regal and Booker T were all crowned on special editions of Raw and SmackDown. There hasn't even been a formal PPV since 2002 when Lesnar won.
43. So, have the tournament on Raw and then have the WWE title match I talked about before the finals. This gives the two set to face off for the KOTR time to rest before they have the final match.
44. I know I kind of went off on a tangent for a moment, but this is my final list, so you'll have to bear with me.
45. After some recap videos we get a tag match between The Usos and 3MB members Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal.
46. I get why WWE doesn't want to push 3MB as a threat to anyone, but they could at least be featured in a somewhat comedic fashion. We know they can be funny, WWE should use them for it.
47. Wow! Someone in the crowd actually made a Heath Slater sign that didn't mock him.
48. As the match gets started, Michael Cole starts talking about all the teams trying for tag title matches and it got me thinking.
49. What if WWE held some kind of tag team KOTR tournament.
50. With eight teams, they could fill the brackets and have a great tournament. They have The Usos, 3MB, The Colons, Prime Time Players, Rhodes Scholars, Team Hell No, Tons of Funk and, even though we haven't seen them in a while, Team CoBro. Khali and Hornswoggle can be backups.
51. Have those eight teams fight in a Tag Team KOTR tournament on one episode of Raw, with the winners getting a title shot against The Shield at a PPV.
52. There. That's two different concepts based around a King of the Ring tournament, with one including a title match involving all six male champions, and the other being a totally original idea based around the tag team division.
53. Anyway, the match starts with Jinder Mahal taking control of the match by using his power advantage.
54. The Usos tag in and out to take control for a moment, but D-Mac gets the tag and comes in with lots of hard shots to the face.
55. Cole puts over Miz as someone who works really hard by doing the WWE schedule, making movies and doing press and other TV appearances.
56. He really is someone who seems to have his sights set on several big goals in life, and I have a lot of respect for him for being able to achieve so many.
57. Mahal tags in after McIntyre controls the match for a few minutes, but one hard kick to the head of Mahal gives Uso the chance he needs to make the tag.
58. After the hot tag leads to Uso (I never know the difference) climbing the top rope, he gets knocked down to the floor as we head to a break.
59. I have to point out that Miz has mentioned John Morrison on commentary two weeks in a row while talking about their old tag team.
60. How awesome would it be if he was planting the seeds for a Miz and Morrison reunion at some point in the near future?
61. Now, that would spice up the tag team division. Miz and Morrison were popular for a Web series called The Dirt Sheet before Zack Ryder made True Long Island Story or Dolph Ziggler did WWE Download, and having them back as a team would be a nice change.
62. Here is another storyline idea: bring back Morrison, have him team up with Miz again, and then bring in Ryder to create a three-man stable.
63. They could be called The IWG, which would stand for Internet Wrestling Gods. It would play to the whole IWC thing, and it would be a reference to how all three of them were helped by a little weekly Internet show.
64. I'm just spit-balling here.
65. 3MB run roughshod all over one of the Usos for several minutes, keeping him grounded with quick tags and double-team moves.
66. After the beaten Uso finally hits a side suplex, both men make the tag and the fresh Uso goes nuts on Drew McIntyre.
67. You have to be kidding me. Ryback brings out and ambulance in the middle of what I thought was a really good tag team match.
68. Heath Slater goes after Ryback, and Ryback does that thing where he grabs someone by both sides of the head and just drives them straight to the ground.
69. The move always takes me off guard because it looks really unrealistic and awkward, but at the same time I find it cool. He should call it the Rysmack. I just had another idea. More in a moment.
70. Ryback grabs Slater and drags him to the ambulance and drives off with him.
71. Is Ryback taking him hostage like he did with Ryder? Because I do not think 3MB make very much money off their music to where they could pay a ransom.
72. Oh wait, Jinder Mahal was supposed to be rich at some point, right?
73. The Usos take advantage of the distraction and one of them finishes off D-Mac with the Superfly Splash for the pin and the win.

74. I am not happy about Ryback being involved during the match, but I am happy he just went after Slater and The Usos were able to pick up the win.
75. They were given a decent amount of time for that match, and all four guys made the most of it.
76. Back to Rysmack. If WWE wanted to get creative, and perhaps invoke a few laughs, it could do a thing where Ryback names all his moves after himself by just putting "Ry" before another word that is part of the move. The could use most of the alphabet. Obviously, Ryback is already his name, and:

  • Ryack just makes no sense, so we will start with C,
  • Rycrab: Just a Boston Crab
  • Rydriver: Piledriver
  • Ryfrak: A word Ryback uses to substitute for an expletive. (BSG reference? Anyone? No? OK, moving on.)
  • Ryjack: Imagine if Ryback had the courage or blessing to use Goldberg's Jackhammer
  • Rykick: The running boot he uses.
  • Rypack: Muscle Buster
  • Ryrack: The Torture Rack
  • Rysack: A spear
  • Rytrack: Not sure what this one would be. I just like the sound of it.
  • Ryvack: His vacuum?
  • Rywack: A backhand chop
  • Ryyack: What he calls regurgitating. That's all I've got for this bit.

77. The final segment is a recap of the re-debut of Curtis Axel and the match he had with Triple H on Raw which ended in Triple H acting as if he didn't know where he was.
78. What should have been the big moment for Curtis Axel is being overshadowed by Triple H's concussion storyline.
79. I only hope Axel and Paul Heyman use this to their advantage. Axel could say "Look what I did to Triple H" even though we know the injury is supposed to be from the match with Lesnar.
80. However, with WWE taking concussions seriously, it may not have a heel try to get heat off it.
81. Main Event was enjoyable, which has been the case for several weeks in a row.
82. Del Rio vs. Langston felt like it was given just the right amount of time for Langston to show off his ability in the ring as more than just a token powerhouse.
83. The Usos vs. 3MB was also given a substantial amount of time, with The Usos getting a win with a little help from Ryback.
84. Where the abduction of Heath Slater will lead to could be interesting, although they may just explain it away by saying Slayer was dropped off at a hospital.
85. Ryback adding some psycho to his character by abducting people might help get him over as a monster heel.
86. There could be segments of him scaring the wrestlers he abducts in some way before either beating them senseless or letting them go.
87. I am full of ideas today. I didn't say "good" ideas, just ideas.
88. I want to share something with you to end the recap list for Main Event. I was recently having a conversation with another wrestling fan and someone who absolutely despises wrestling.
89. The other fan was trying to explain why he liked it, while the other person just kept bringing up the fact that it is all staged, like we didn't already know that or hear him the first hundred times.
90. Eventually I told him that it is just another form of storytelling and there is very little difference between this and action movies.
91. He thought about it for a moment and then said that perhaps if they didn't do it in front of an audience and instead presented it as some kind of underground fighting tournament it would be more popular.
92. I told him they already tried that. It was called WMAC Masters, and it was terrible. Fun, but terrible beyond compare.
93. He finally decided to accept that it is just another form of entertainment that he would choose not to like and leave it at that.
94. I mocked him for a few minutes about liking Duck Dynasty before agreeing to end the argument.


Check out The Doctor's Final WWE Recap List Part 1: Monday Night Raw

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