What if I told you that ESPN was making its next 30 for 30 documentary about legendary '90s childhood icon Gordon Bombay? And that it would chronicle Bombay's fall from grace as a youth hockey star all the way to his triumphant defeat of Team Iceland?
You would be pretty excited, right? Well, unfortunately, if I told you that I'd be lying.
But in a spoof trailer released by Colin Stanton on YouTube, he openly looks at what would happen had ESPN expanded its documentary repertoire to include fictional carries from old Disney movies.
If you don't know who Gordon Bombay is or why this would be the greatest thing in humankind history, allow me to introduce you to the 1990s.
Bombay is the titular character in the Mighty Ducks, a trilogy of movies so beloved that the first in the franchise—The Mighty Ducks—was actually the inspiration for an NHL franchise's nickname.
The franchise begins with Bombay as a hot-shot attorney pulled over for DUI and sentenced to community service coaching a youth ice hockey team—one that forces him to face his demons in the process. Bombay develops a special bond with the rag-tag group of kids, especially captain Charlie Conway, and he leads them to a win over the monolith Hawks—Bombay's youth team.
Bombay's relationship with these kids takes us through at trilogy of movies that includes a United States championship at the Junior Goodwill Games in D2—otherwise known as the movie that made children of the '90s hate Iceland for no good reason.
Speaking as someone who spend his entire elementary school years trying to convince friends he was related to Charlie Conway, the trailer alone gets me excited. I can't help but wonder about all the things that could be exposed from a Bombay movie. What was he really doing all that time in D3? Why couldn't Dr. James Andrews fix his knee?
I must know.
Can we just get a Kickstarter going for this already? I'll promise to pledge $10 right now on the spot—but only if everyone promises not to hand the final third of the movie to Ted Orion.