A-Rod Has Bitch Tits Like Meatloaf in Fight Club.

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A-Rod Has Bitch Tits Like Meatloaf in Fight Club.
(Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

 

This Column Was Originally Published at GetOutofMyBallpark.com

Great news Everyone! Selena Roberts has given us more reason to hate Douche-Rod. Excerpts from Robert's new book (out May 12) were published by the New York Daily News this morning.

Included are details about the "Douche's" steroid use, which reportedly started in high school and continues today, and his relationships with his wife, Madonna, and various other floozies (that is the actual word used in the Daily News). I can't think of a better way to wake up (other than in a Brad Penny's ex-girlfriends sandwich).

Here are some highlights (my thoughts in parentheses):

"Sports Illustrated writer Selena Roberts, who broke the story that A-Rod flunked a steroid screening in 2003, reveals fellow Bombers nicknamed the third baseman "B---h T--s" in 2005." (If you don't think that the fans at Fenway are going to be chanting "Bitch Tits" when he returns to Boston June 9th then you are dumber than, well, A-Rod)

"That was after he put on 15 pounds in the off-season and seemed to develop round pectorals, a condition called gynecomastia that can be caused by anabolic steroids."

"In one shocking disclosure, the book accuses A-Rod of "pitch tipping" when he was with the Rangers—letting a friendly opponent at the plate know which pitch was coming in lopsided games." (Douchebag)

"Rodriguez expected players he helped would do the same for him when he was having an off night and needed to get his batting average up and it wouldn't affect the outcome of the game."

"He was even hated at Hooters, where he tipped the minimum 15 percent."

I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but it must be a challenge to be hated at Hooters when you have $300 million. In fact, what is a man who can afford whatever he wants doing eating at Hooters? Couldn't he get some hotty he is nailing (or a hooker) to go get him buffalo wings from Hooters and then serve them to him naked? Wouldn't that be more fun? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

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