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Wemby GOES OFF in Game 3 ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

Mock Help Wanted Ad for Detroit Pistons' Open Head Coaching Position

Jay WierengaJun 2, 2018

A wonderful new opportunity has just opened up at one of the NBA's most dynamic teams!

About our organization

The Detroit Pistons were originally founded in Fort Wayne, Indiana, as the Fort Wayne Pistons. Upon moving to the great state of Michigan in the late 1950s, the Pistons have had one of the league's most storied careers.

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Though our early years were marked by inconsistencies, we have since won three NBA titles, a mark that puts our organization in the upper echelon of teams. Some of the league's greatest players including Bob Lanier, Dave Bing, Isiah Thomas and Joe Dumars have called our team home.

We have built a reputation for greatness that was founded on hard work, teamwork and determination.

Job requirements

We are looking for a new head coach to lead our young team.

Qualified applicants must possess:

  • A strong knowledge and working experience with stellar defense, man-to-man ideally
  • The ability to multi-task and work well with challenging individuals
  • The ability to intrinsically motivate individuals, and be able to maneuver within a high-stress and often turbulent work environment
  • Tough-mindeness the ability to handle often sharp criticism by a very motivated ownership group
  • Candidates must be smart, quick-thinking individuals who can work well with a fanbase that is used to greatness

Core responsibilities

Our ideal candidate will be asked to:

  • Build a rapport with a young, talented, yet misused point guard
  • Develop an offensive system that utilizes two of the league's most dynamic young big men
  • Rebuild a defensive unit that was once known for greatness but has since become less than ideal
  • Help to restore pride to a once-great organization
  • Bring this organization back to the playoffs within two years and back to contention within four

Skills

Our ideal candidate must be able to:

  • Multi-task in a high-stress environment
  • Build a strong coaching staff that includes at least three assistants
  • Effectively communicate with employees
  • Delegate responsibilities to assistant coaches when needed
  • Manage game situations properly
  • Make effective changes during games and manage players
  • Put our employees in a position to succeed and utilize their talents

Experience

Our ideal candidate must:

  • Have at least three years head coaching experience or at least five years of assistant coaching experience
  • Have a history of working with young, inexperienced players
  • Have a strong ability to communicate with young, often difficult players
  • Have a passion for defense, especially man-to-man
  • Have the strength of mind to work with a sometimes challenging local media

Thank you for your interest in the Detroit Pistons! Please forward all resumes and cover letters to Joe Dumars, our team president.

We look forward to speaking with you! Let's go to work!

Wemby GOES OFF in Game 3 ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

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