The 10 Most Hated Sports Movie Characters
Today, I will be looking at a collection of sports movies' most hated characters. Although some of these characters are supposed to be playing for the good team, I find these players just annoying and overrated.
Though he doesn't make the top 10, pictured to the left is Cubs rookie phenom Henry Roengardner. In one of baseball's more comical attempts to attract more fans, the Cubs are a cellar team looking for any sort of help, so they bring in some kid who hasn't even hit puberty yet.
You see, Henry is a great strikeout machine that frequently Ks all of the big league players, even one by the name of Barry Bonds—it’s kind of humorous because this was pre-Barroid and he weighs all of 128 pounds.
Enjoy the top 10 most hated sports characters of all time, and if you disagree, it is what it is. There are many, so let the debate begin...
No. 10: Julian Washington (Any Given Sunday)
Washington had nothing going for him throughout the entire movie, besides the fact that he was a flashy and quicker Larry Johnson. If you don't find Washington's arrogance a bit much, how about the fact that he got all of his boys to pretty much dismantle Willie Beamen's whip? And if you're still not convinced, how about the fact that the man portraying Washington is LL Cool J? End of story.
Props to Terrell Owens for his cameo in this one. Between T.O., Washington, Lawrence Taylor, and Willie Beamen, this would be the biggest collection of egos in one locker room ever. Eat your heart out Cowboy fans.
No. 9: Ranch Wilder (Angels in the Outfield)
No. 9 goes to California Angels play-by-play announcer Ranch Wilder. What is there to like about this moron? If he's not spiking Red's sensation George Knox, then he is trying to show up his colleague and color commentator, Wally. Ranch is the type of guy that makes you turn your radio down and talk to your wife. Good thing owner Hank Murphy canned Wilder, or else I would be an Oakland A's fan by now.
No. 8: Shooter McGavin (Happy Gilmore)
Shooooooooooooooter, baby. Many people think McGavin is quite annoying, arrogant, and just a joke. But personally, I love McGavin and think he is one of sports' great bad guys. Known for his gun-pointing hand motion and smart-ass remarks, McGavin makes this movie. But he is intended as a bad guy for trying to take Grandma's house, and for stealing Happy's jacket, so Shooter makes the list as the most hated golfer in any movie.
Number 7: Kenny Scolari (BASEketball)
The one athlete that did not get any respect from absolutely anyone was Kenny “Squeaks” Scolari. Kenny Scolari was referred to as the "Little Bitch" of the movie. He was so underappreciated he didn't even get a bed. The dog, Jenkins, got the cool little bed, while Squeaks got a box. And if being 5’2” and having a two-inch dong wasn't bad enough, he falls in love with a tranny. Poor Squeaks.
No. 6: Jack Parkman (Major League II)
Parkman was the classic bad guy in Major League II. Known for forcing himself out of the disgruntled Indians, Parkman goes on to play for the rival White Sox later on in the movie.
Parkman is a lot like A.J. Pierzynski: Everyone loves him in Chicago, but everyone outside of the windy city can't stand him. Parkman, who is known for hitting the long ball, looked like Randall Simon at the plate with three ugly hacks against Jack Vaughn to conclude the movie and the series. Parkman is still on waivers, so it will be interesting if any teams come calling.
Harry Doyle said it best: "You know I used to hate Parkman when he was with the A's. It's amazing how a new uniform can change your attitude about a guy. He's still a dick."
No. 5: Daniel Ruettiger (Rudy)
Now before you bash me, hear me out. I am the biggest Irish fan there is, and I really appreciated the good warm effect the movie had on millions of people. But my problem isn't with Daniel Ruettiger—it is with the actor Sean Astin.
I didn't like him in The Goonies, he didn't impress me in 50 First Dates, and he sure as hell didn't do anyone any favors in this great storyline. There is just something about this guy that I can't stand, and he really got to me the entire movie.
No. 4: Wolf Stansson (D2: The Mighty Ducks)
At No. 4, say hello to the Dentist: Wolf Stansson. The Dentist is the head coach for Team Iceland in the American classic D2. Wolf is the quiet but arrogant type that makes you want to drop the gloves.
Notoriously known for living through his team's success, Stansson does whatever it takes to win, even if it is cheap-shotting the great Emilio Estevez while playing the game “three posts.”
Too bad the Lightning didn't go with Stansson instead of Barry Melrose at the beginning of the year; this guy's got way better hair.
No. 3: Eddie Martel (The Replacements)
When I talked to Mel Kiper, he compared Martel's game to Jay Cutler. He chimed in that Martel has a big league arm with a great vision for the field, but he is the loose cannon type that makes you hate him as a player.
Martel is the prima donna type that is all about him and the money. We never really heard what happened to Martel after coach Jimmy McGinty benched his ass, but I am sure he is working out a trade with the Bears.
No. 2: Larry Willingham (Air Bud)
Willingham was one of the most overrated basketball players we have ever put our eyes on. The one time starting PG for the Timberwolves, Willingham was a cancer to the worst team in the league. Known for his Stephon Marbury-esque attitude, Willingham was nothing more than an over-hyped ginger who was replaced by a golden retriever.
I think the best part of the movie is when Air Bud called for the isolation and took it to the hole. Hey Larry, suck on that one.
No. 1: Spike Hammersmith (Little Giants)
Spike was the abnormally large hybrid-type running back that could do it all. He originally was a prize recruit by Danny O'Shea but later realized that he was playing for the wrong O'Shea brother. I am not sure what year Kevin O'Shea won the Heisman, but it must've been somewhere in between Marcus Allen and Sam Bradford.
Spike had one thing on his mind, and that was football. This kid could even lift a refrigerator on his back. But unfortunately, the Little Giants prevailed over the Cowboys with the play, The Annexation of Puerto Rico. It set up by the “Ice Box” Becky O'Shea and run to perfection. Way to round out the top 10 Spike.