The Chip Kelly era in Philadelphia has begun, and it is far faster and much less delicious.
Larry Brown Sports spotted a few tweets that are sure to sadden all of you junk-food junkies out there. Here is one from ESPN's Jeannine Edwards that proves Kelly is delivering a balanced diet to his players.
Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer reports the Eagles are now powered by no-nonsense shakes that only true beasts of the gridiron imbibe.
Geoff Mosher of CSN Philadelphia shows us the biggest offseason acquisitions: personalized smoothies.
It seems Kelly is changing every single detail of his Eagles, from the manner in which they practice to what they put in their stomachs. Sports Illustrated would like to direct your attention to Edwards' SportsCenter report, which is sure to make fans of Mexican food rather depressed.
I really hope nobody is all that bent out of shape over the culinary overhaul taking place at Eagles camp at the moment. You do realize that you fine fans of the team can still eat as many tacos as you want on Tuesdays, right?
Former head coach Andy Reid tried valiantly to craft a team of men into gridiron warriors by passing on his own eating habits. His menu resembled that of any college fraternity, leading to some fine examples of what could have been from ESPN's Arash Markazi.
Reid did manage 130 regular-season wins with the Eagles, so there is something to be said about satisfied athletes who have access to an abundance of cheeseburgers.
Still, I will go ahead and say that Kelly may be on to something here. As he installs a new offense, it will only help matters that his players are not one order of tacos shy of a food coma.
Tight end Brent Celek sounds like he is having a great time with the new shakes, according to the Daily Times: "We all got to choose our flavors. Mine is coconut, pineapple and banana. It tastes good and helps you maintain weight."
The age of greasy, delicious food has come to an abrupt end for the Eagles. Now, every corner of the craft services table will be stocked with things that are, gulp, good for you.
We raise our figurative burritos in your honor, Kelly. Congratulations on the extensive changes to the diets of your fierce competitors.
We have never been so glad to not be Eagles players.
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