Drop the ball, pull your pants up and get the heck out of this game.
That was the basic message relayed to a fan who pulled off a prodigiously awful 2-for-1 fail at Thursday’s game between the San Francisco Giants and the Atlanta Braves. The Giants’ Brandon Crawford knocked a fair ball down the left field line in the ninth inning and the result was some goon nearly losing his britches to steal the ball from the field (via TheBigLead).
Leaning out over the field-side wall, the fan’s sagging pants and the treasures beneath them were on full display as he grabbed for his prize, nearly tumbling into the field in his heedless adventure for a souvenir.
You can clearly hear the voice of one spectator going nuts over the incident, and the nearby bros in the stands throw their hands up in dismay. Their look says “Bro. BRO.”
But Indiana Brones (as I will call him henceforth) is on a quest—he’s got his San Fran safari JNCOs on and neither God, dropped pants nor thousands of screaming fans are going to stop him from getting his Holy Grail.
True to his quest, Brones grabs his prize and pulls up celebrating, holding the ball aloft as his belt-line dips somewhere south of his undercarriage. It’s a glorious Taster’s Choice moment of stupidity between man and the rest of the world, and the commentators inaugurate it as such with a single word:
Yes, really. That just happened.
But the double jeopardy of golden stupidity wasn’t over just yet, and the scene only heightened in deliciousness as the look of recognition spread over Indiana Brones’ face and he tossed the ball back on the field.
Unfortunately—for him—the damage was done. Once you take the crystal from its pressure-sensitive pedestal, the boulder starts rolling, and putting it back isn’t going to keep you from getting squished.
Or, in this case, unceremoniously ejected from the game amid a downpour of boos.
Next up for this guy—Indiana Brones and the Selfie that Ruined Nana's Funeral: