Now now, we’re all vaguely adults here—no need to be squeamish.
Actually, there are plenty of reasons to avert your eyes in disgust from time to time while watching sports, not the least of which being the possibility of players getting sick and tossing their milkshakes up on the field.
It happens in many different circumstances for a host of reasons. Some athletes get sick from simple exertion; others fall prey to big hits and poor meal-planning. While unsavory, some bowel evacuations have even become shrouded in sports legend, with players overcoming illness to miraculous results.
That being said, if you think you’ve got the stomach, grab a yack-bag and come with me. It's time to run the gamut of gut-wrenching moments in sports, and trust me, it’s not for the faint of heart.
WARNING: This slideshow is NSFW. It contains vomiting, chunk-blowing and all kinds of gut-gravy. So just know that, people.
Officer Michael Vangelo just wanted to take his daughters to a Phillies game, enjoy himself and presumably make it out without being covered in human bile.
That didn’t happen.
According to Vangelo, a 21-year-old fan named Matthew Clemmens physically induced himself into projectile vomiting onto him and his 11-year-old daughter.
Clemmens (obviously not an athlete, so this is restricted to an honorable mention) also allegedly struck Vangelo several times and continued to throw up as he was subdued by members of the crowd.
People will probably be quick to say “Of course, Philly fans.” But this isn’t Philly fans. This kind of behavior isn’t anyone.
It could be a hairball, or it could be the product of the bald hatred this cat harbors toward David Beckham.
Either way, it’s somewhat concerning.
After a long day in the heat on the gridiron, former Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb cooked up a nasty vomelette at the line of scrimmage.
Ignore the spew, announcer guy—that’s just Matt Ryan being a “Heisman guy.”
I don’t know if Ryan was sick prior to this game at Boston College or if he just spied Sarah Jessica Parker across the field, but something took him from zero to “vomming” quick, fast and in a hurry.
After running in an awesome 80-yard try, North Shore rugby winger Chris Mroz celebrated by throwing up violently across half the field.
Fortunately, the play-by-play guy was there to provide in-depth analysis of the event with lines such as, “He’s throwing up...we don’t understand it...this is absolutely fantastic, ladies and gentlemen!”
Behold—the never-ending fountain of pump-up juice.
This weightlifter might want to avoid chugging a whole gallon of fluids before stepping up to his next strongman competition. All that spray is liable to ruin his grip.
Presumably overcome with nausea, Hamburg Freezer Jean-Sebastien Giguere dropped down onto the ice one game and unleashed wave after wade of tummy tides on the playing surface.
I’m sure the Zamboni guys were thrilled.
Oh, it’s everywhere!
Battling flu-like symptoms, Florida wide receiver Riley Cooper hauled in five passes for 105 yards against Charleston Southern—a career high for him at the time.
Cooper also heaved up his stomach contents a career-high number of times that day.
Go to 2:06 for the deliciousness.
Some people use the euphemism "Beat him until he [urinates] blood." Boxer Art Jimmerson has changed that to "Beat him until his mullet cries and his stomach bails itself outside the ring."
The best part is that the guy throwing up here was two-step taunting his opponent barely a minute before chucking up his lunch. Karma, man.
A marathon point between French tennis pro Richard Gasquet and Bulgaria’s Grigor Dimitrov started as tennis—and ended in what looks like the final scene of Saving Private Ryan.
We lost a lot of good men that day, and Gasquet lost his cookies.
A pair of announcers enjoy a fine chuckle as this "dehydrated" football player sprays the field with some sickness.
Seems like the right response for the occasion.
This is Joey Gipner, a track runner who ran 1,500 meters too hard to keep down his fluids.
Luckily for him, he has some good game tape to go over after the event, so he can see what he did right and where he can improve.
I suggest he start by getting new friends.
Before he became a walking punch line in the NFL, Cade McNown was cooking up stomach stew on the field at UCLA.
The video of the incident doesn’t provide any Spike Lee angles of the vomiting action, but like the commentators say, I don’t think we need a replay.
Little Nate Robinson stepped up in a big way for the Chicago Bulls during their 2013 first-round playoff series against the Brooklyn Nets.
Robinson started Game 6 in Chicago suffering with flu-like symptoms and spent parts of the game throwing up into a trash can on the sideline.
Incredibly, Robinson managed to score 18 points and would be a pivotal part of the Bulls winning the series.
Nothing like some deep-fried artichokes to get the gastro system screaming.
Former Phoenix Suns coach Alvin Gentry spent a portion of a 2010 game against the Lakers yacking into a trash can due to some bad artichokes he’d consumed before the game.
When asked about the incident, Gentry told the press, “Just tell everyone it was Kobe Bryant making me sick.”
This high school wrestler found himself on the wrong end of a wrestling hold and ended up spewing all over the mat as a result.
As it appears, throwing up counts as a tap-out in these cases.
Rugby player James Semple took a hard shot to the stomach, and what followed was a nasty bit of downtime on the field during this rugby game.
As the sportscasters say, that’ll teach him to eat a hot dog before the game.
Never has vomiting looked more robotic a task than after Emmanuel Mutai won the London Marathon in record-breaking style in 2011.
That might’ve not even been vomit. It looked like he just took a ride on the regurgitron and released the yolk of an ostrich egg afterward.
Michael Irvin’s reality show 4th and Long on Spike went into all-out puke mode during this particularly grueling practice.
Watching this, you’d think Irvin never vomited or got tired once in his professional playing career.
According to Sean Williams, an overdose of chocolate-covered almonds was the reason he covered the Dallas Mavericks bench in stomach contents in 2011.
His teammates were quick to notice, and obviously, no one stuck around to investigate the matter.
Cleveland Indians reliever Chris Perez notched his 20th save of the season in 2012 against the St. Louis Cardinals, and he celebrated the occasion by firing off the chunk cannon.
When you think about how violent this spray is, try not to also think about what it did to his beard. I’m sorry.
Nothing but red, red Gatorade was coming out of this football player’s mouth.
What’s that flavor called? Twice-baked fruit punch?
I apologize for that.
“Who is that??”
That’s former Viking wide receiver Robert Ferguson, kid. Just give him a moment, would ya? He needs to woof up his vittles.
Head to the 5:05 mark for the Sampras spew.
Pete Sampras showed some major cojones and a bit of his lunch during a four-hour match against Alex Corretja in the 1996 U.S. Open.
Sampras was warned by referees to hurry up and play while he was getting sick on the court. As you can hear in the video, the crowd wasn’t thrilled with the warning.
Miraculously, Sampras not only finished the match, but went on to win it.