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David Stern Channels Inner Pat Riley with Hilarious New Hairdo

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Dan FavaleFeatured Columnist IVJanuary 2, 2017

NBA commissioner David Stern's midlife crisis is coming about 20 years too late.

While at LeBron James' MVP trophy presentation, Stern was spotted (h/t with a slicked back hairdo that was nothing short of Pat Riley-esque.

No doubt you're wondering how many cans of hair product it took for Stern to achieve this bad-boy look. Let's set the over/under at three, shall we? 

For those who aren't familiar with the commissioner's hairstyle, this little number is quite out of the ordinary.

Normally, Stern has a very light and fluffy comb-over going on, like he's headed to the early-bird special at the local country club type of thing.

I must say I'm not a fan of the new do. That whole Riley meets John Travolta from Grease thing just isn't doing it for me, or Stern for that matter. It's not very commissioner-ish.

I'm half surprised that Stern didn't toss on a leather jacket and ride off the court in his Chopper—without a helmet—after LeBron was presented with the award. He looks more like a misinformed biker than he does an NBA executive.

Still, I commend Stern for stepping out of his skin—and into Riley's hair—even if only for (what we hope is) a brief second. He's less than a year away from retirement, so it's time that he experiment.

I say it's time he even takes it a step further.

Aside from strolling into a Miami barber shop asking for what could only be called "The Riles," perhaps it's time he went suit shopping with Craig Sager, so that he could add some more vibrant-colored animal skins to his wardrobe.

And as for those glasses? They have to go. They're too bland.

I suggest he go bifocal hunting with Russell Westbrook, who has some extra time on his hands now. He knows a thing or two about those kind of rims. Stern just has to be sure to purchase a pair with actual lens'.

For now, we'll just have to chuckle at the hideousness of settle for the new trim Stern is sporting. It's fresh, different and sleek.

And yes, it screams "Pat Riley wants his pomade back, David" as well.


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