It’s 7 a.m. and looking like a lovely day, the sun is out over London, I’ve got a bacon and egg sandwich and there is an entire day ahead of me to look forward to.
Then I realise I’m going to watch QPR today and the day ahead looks a lot bleaker (alternative title for this article is “Bleaker Report”).
I’m going to the game with an Arsenal supporting friend/work colleague. He asked if he should go in disguise. I told him to not smile and have a season’s worth of misery in his eyes and he’d fit right in.
The season hasn’t been an enjoyable one for QPR. The 2012/13 Premier League has been like this for a QPR fan: Large bout of depression, beat Chelsea, large bout of depression.
Some QPR fans would actually prefer Arsenal to win, so it would hamper Chelsea’s Champions League chances.
The footballing day starts watching the last day of the Championship, hoping local rivals Watford don’t go up to the Premier League (the only joy for a QPR fan can be found in the misery of others).
Watford lose against Leeds and Hull City get promoted instead, despite Phil Thompson thinking they actually got relegated.
So as the time of execution draws closer (kickoff was 17:30), I get ready to leave the house. As an omen of things to come, my nine-month-old son throws up on me and, when I get to the tube station, the Central Line is suffering from severe delays and the next train isn’t for 16 minutes.
There might be a signal failure at Liverpool Street, but is this a fully functioning signal from the Gods telling me to turn around and go home?
Regardless, I get to Loftus Road well in time for kickoff. And thank goodness that I did. If I had been 21 seconds late, I'd have missed the only action from the match.
Now, if any of you saw the game, you’ll know it was one of the dullest games ever played. Here are the match facts:
00:20 Theo Walcott scores for Arsenal
90:00 Full time.
Nothing else happened.
So instead of inflicting an actual match report on you and make you relive the ordeal again. I will be a little different and give you the match as reported by the Tweets of bored QPR fans.
GOAL AFTER 20 SECONDS
REST OF FIRST HALF
END OF FIRST HALF
The game was summed up perfectly by The Mirror.
From a QPR fan’s perspective, QPR 0 Arsenal 1 was a great result, as it means the end of this terrible season is one less game further away...and it doesn't do Chelsea any favours.