Parodies: Not Fair (Favouritism and Inconsistencies in a Nutshell)

David JacobsCorrespondent IApril 26, 2009

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - APRIL 25:  Dimitar Berbatov of Manchester United is congratulated by team mate Wayne Rooney (L) after scoring his team's fifth goal during the Barclays Premier League match between Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford on April 25, 2009 in Manchester, England.  (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

I wrote the following parody out of continuing frustration about yesterday's display of utter favouritism and inconsistency with the rules FA officials implement during matches. Especially when dealing with the likes of
Manchester United.

See previous article for more details; ideally before you look at this.

I hope I have it put in a nutshell.

Don't edit the word 'FAir'.
I put it like that for emphasis on who I'm having a go at.

Tune - aptly to the tune of 'Not Fair' by Lily Allen.

Most would treat them with respect.
They say that we should all the time.
They blow up fifteen times a minute
Making sure Ronaldo's fine.

You know I've never seen a clan
Whose made him feel quite so secure.
They're not like all those other people
Who say that diving's immature.

But at some point, they can get in the way.
When your team's up two nil, it's just no good.
It's such a shame.
You see it in their eyes
Their aim is to annoy ya.
And then they show you red and it's apparent
Your game's over.

It's not FAir 'cause they're sometimes really mean.
They're sometimes really mean.
They're sometimes really mean.

Oh why do they care
'bout Man.U's three-trophy dream?
Man.U's three-trophy dream?

Oh it's not FAir and it's really not ok.
It's really not ok.
It's really not ok.

Oh why do they care?
It's the p*ss they always take.
The p*ss they always take.

Ronnie lies down in his wet patch
On the ground as if he's dead.
And Fergie's pretty damn hard done by
After giving FA head.

Now I remember all decisions that have caused controversy.
Maybe I'm just over the top with my clearer memory.

But at some point, they can get in the way.
When your team's up two nil, it's just no good.
It's such a shame.
You see it in their eyes
Their aim is to annoy ya.
And then they show you red and it's apparent
Your game's over.

It's not FAir 'cause they're sometimes really mean.
They're sometimes really mean.
They're sometimes really mean.

Oh why do they care
'bout Man.U's three-trophy dream?
Man.U's three-trophy dream?

Oh it's not FAir and it's really not ok.
It's really not ok.
It's really not ok.

Oh why do they care?
It's the p*ss they always take.
The p*ss they always take.

(Interlude)

But at some point, they can get in the way.
When your team's up two nil, it's just no good.
It's such a shame.
You see it in their eyes
Their aim is to annoy ya.
And then they show you red and it's apparent
Your game's over.

It's not FAir 'cause they're sometimes really mean.
They're sometimes really mean.
They're sometimes really mean.

Oh why do they care
'bout Man.U's three-trophy dream?
Man.U's three-trophy dream?

Oh it's not FAir and it's really not ok.
It's really not ok.
It's really not ok.

Oh why do they care?
It's the p*ss they always take.
The p*ss they always take.