Gareth Bale has basically won every award in the world. The PFA Player Of The Year Award, The PFA Young Player Of The Year Award and we think he might have won an Olivier award or two this week.
In fact, if the Welsh FA are to bid for a World Cup, they’d probably get it if they put Bale on the campaign team. Never mind Qatar, we want Wales 2022! Where better to stage World Cup semifinals than Newport and Wrexham?
So what other awards will/should young Mr. Bale be in contention for?
And we won't be making the cheap joke of "he should be up for an Oscar, because he puts in great acting performances when he dives" because it's an easy joke to make, the extra slide is too much work and we've already made the gag now.
With all due respect to Spurs, Gareth Bale has been Tottenham Hotspurs this season. He's just been phenomenal.
Bale is being mentioned by some in the same breath as Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. Kyle Naughton and Benoit Assou-Ekotto aren't.
Post-Redknapp Spurs have made some very bold and offensive-minded signings, with the likes of Dempsey, Dembele and Sigurðsson bolstering their ranks, but none of them have been able to take the headlines away from G-Bizzle this season.
Obviously this award will be voted by Spurs fans, so the only thing that would prevent him from winning this is if the fans, resigned to losing him to a European giant, decide to bestow the honor on penalty-taker extraordinaire, Emmanuel Adebayor, instead.
Not even Ryan Giggs (or to give him his full title, “The Evergreen Ryan Giggs” – his biological father was a Christmas tree) can challenge Bale for the best Welsh player of the season. And who else is there?
Ashley Williams? Craig Bellamy? Aaron Ramsey? Joe Allen?
They don’t come close. They haven't put in the performances to the same standard as Bale.
It could be argued that Bale is well on his way to overtake Giggs, Ian Rush and John Charles and could one day be considered the greatest Welsh footballer of all time.
That’s unless Danny Gabbidon really picks his game up.
So, despite being an absolute bargain and putting in performances as good as Bale, RVP and Suarez this year (and definitely better performances than Eden Hazard), Swansea City’s Michu didn’t even get nominated for the PFA Player of the Year award.
So, why not continue the tradition of Michu being overlooked by handing Bale the Swansea City Player of the Season award?
However, it’s fair to say the likelihood of someone who doesn’t play for Swansea and is actually from their rival city of Cardiff winning the club’s Player of the Year is pretty slim.
Gareth Bale should win the Manager of the Year award purely to complete the set: Player of the Year, Young Player of the Year and Manager of the Year for a perfect hat-trick.
We'll concede that Bale goes into competing for this award with a distinct disadvantage. Not only wasn’t he the best manager of the season, but he isn’t even a manager at all.
However, with Bale’s winning, never-say-die attitude that won't hold him back, we predict he'll push on and grab the award.
So this isn’t a real award, but if there was an annual prize given to a player who has carried their team throughout the season (named in honor of Robin Van Persie, the man who has carried more clubs than Mike “Fluff” Cowan (who is supposedly a famous golf caddy, if this joke doesn’t work, blame Wikipedia)), Bale would win it.
He would face stiff competition from Suarez, Juan Mata, Michu and even RVP himself. But no player’s individual performances have had a greater impact on the team’s overall performances than Bale’s.
In fact, without Bale, Spurs would be floundering in mid-table.
Unfortunately, this would mean QPR’s Jose Bosingwa would miss out on the carrying a team award.
Has anyone else noticed that Gareth Bale seems to have had his ears pinned back?
Apart from the odd newspaper story or two, Bale's less prominent-looking ears seem to have flown under the radar (despite the radar's two considerable satellite dishes). Yet Wayne Rooney gets a few extra hairs and the media wants to make a feature film about it.
Again, this isn't a real prize, but the trophy for this award will be a face with giant ears that could also double up as handles.