After blowing out your Achilles with two games to go in the regular season, you managed to remain in the collective consciousness of NBA fans by doing what any self-respecting narcissist would: You promised us you'd stay involved with the Los Angeles Lakers by any means necessary.
Can't move for 2weeks so I'm laid up. Will watch game on tv and give adjustments if needed by phone at halftime #countontheteam— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) April 14, 2013
And stay involved you did—140 characters at a time.
Whether (rightfully) questioning the Lakers' failure to use their foul to give in the waning moments of a three-point game against the Houston Rockets or pioneering the use of the word "cease" as a noun, you kept us riveted.
Can the talk of trading @paugasol come to a cease now??— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) April 18, 2013
Then the playoffs rolled around and you went all #CoachKobe on us, tweeting persistent suggestions and analysis during a Game 1 loss against the San Antonio Spurs.
Gotta keep the spurs offense in front of our d. They r great at penetrating and pitching to their shooters— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) April 21, 2013
Gotta milk pau in the post right now and d12. Will get good looks from it— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) April 21, 2013
We didn't know it at the time, but your in-game tweets wouldn't last forever.
Your brief advice columns reached Mike D'Antoni via the press by the time the final buzzer sounded. He called you "a fan" and it was clear that your social media experiment was overshadowing the game itself.
A fan?? Lol #microphonetalk— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) April 21, 2013
Then, apparently chagrined by stealing your team's thunder, you pledged to call it quits.
I see my tweeting during the game is being talked about as much as the game itself. Not my intention , just bored as I guess #notagain— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) April 21, 2013
Say it ain't so, Kobe.
Look, your Lakers are slowly circling the drain, down 2-0 to the Spurs and piling up injuries faster than you can create a hashtag. There's nothing left in this series to keep us entertained—except you.
Now, don't get the wrong idea. You're not always purposely entertaining; often, your tweets are enjoyable because they practically ooze a sense of attention-seeking desperation. But we like watching you clamor for attention.
And sometimes, you've got interesting stuff to say, too.
So get back at it. We know you're not a quitter.
Plus, you've got the support of NBA deputy commissioner Adam Silver, who told Rob Mahoney of the Associated Press that he very much enjoyed your social media input. When one of the top executives of a league that forbids its active players to tweet during games is on board, you've got to keep going.
Give us your strategic adjustments. Give us the updates on your sleeping patterns. We've got no attention spans anymore; we need to know what you think about everything, all the time.
Keep tweeting, Kobe.