20 Terrible Players with Great Nicknames

Nick Dimengo@@itsnickdimengoFeatured ColumnistApril 24, 2013

20 Terrible Players with Great Nicknames

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    What's in a name?

    Who really knows?

    But what's in a nickname?

    Most of the time, a solid story.

    Earning an alias usually means you've left an impression on another person—regardless of that being good or bad.

    We've seen some really cool ones over the years too, it's just not all of them have been to star players.

    So here are the great nicknames that random athletes have somehow been blessed with.

Bryant Reeves

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    Nickname: Big Country

    There was a time when Bryant Reeves was looked at as the face of the franchise for the Grizzlies after a stellar career at Oklahoma State in which he led the Cowboys to the Final Four.

    Thanks to injuries, his career was cut short, leaving one of the best nicknames ever occupied by a guy who's probably shoveling horse manure.

Dan Wilkinson

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    Nickname: Big Daddy

    Yes, Dan Wilkinson was the No. 1 overall pick by the Bengals in 1994, but that doesn't mean his NFL career measured up to his draft position.

    The sad thing about his numbers is that his nickname could be applied to so many dominant players in sports that happen to be a little bit bigger boned.

Craig Heyward

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    Nickname: Ironhead

    To our surprise, Craig Heyward actually earned a Pro Bowl berth following his 1995 season when he ran for over 1,000 yards and added six scores.

    But besides that one season that would simply be OK nowadays, he didn't too much.

    His nickname though is eggs, and really wish it was available for some of these bully fullbacks or crazy linebackers playing now.

Andrei Kirilenko

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    Nickname: AK-47

    During this middle part of his career, Andrei Kirilenko garnered an All-Star selection and was relied upon to be a cornerstone for the Jazz.

    For multiple reasons though, his numbers just fell off.

    Sadly, his intimidating nickname remains, leaving any other player who may be deserving of it to have to settle for something less cool.

Kordell Stewart

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    Nickname: Slash

    Before the NFL featured guys who were just freak athletes, fans had Kordell Stewart to marvel at.

    He may have played a role in the Steelers' run to a Super Bowl appearance in 1995 with his change of pace at the QB position—and later earning a Pro Bowl trip in 2001—but his career wasn't much accomplished.

    There are so many guys who would be more deserving of his "Slash" nickname in any sport today.

Harold Miner

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    Nickname: Baby Jordan

    Harold Miner's career NBA highlight?

    Winning the NBA Dunk Contest two times in 1993 and '95.

    We're not sure who decided that was deserving enough of the nickname "Baby Jordan," but whoever it was obviously couldn't read the future, because there are plenty of basketball players who would hold that title more appropriately.

Adam Dunn

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    Nickname: The Big Donkey

    This is somewhat appropriate because Adam Dunn is just a pile of power, crushing balls whenever he makes contact.

    Only problem is, it's absolutely always hit or miss with him. 

    If it's not a homer, it's a strikeout—just look at that batting average.

Anthony Thomas

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    Nickname: The A-Train

    Anthony Thomas got his nickname while starring at Michigan and absolutely bullying the Big Ten competition, but even after recording 1,000-yard rushing seasons in two of his first three years, the A-Train moniker should have been dropped.

    We love Adrian Peterson's nickname of "A.D."—as in "All Day"—but this one would have been even more appropriate with the reckless abandonment that he runs with.

Nikolai Khabibulin

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    Nickname: The Bulin Wall

    In our personal opinion, this is absolutely the prototypical nickname for any goalie in a sport.

    What's better than being called a wall when your lone job is defending the net?

    But while Khabibulin has had a long, solid career, we hardly think he's deserving of the type of nickname that suggests he's been a wall while between the pipes.

Rafer Alston

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    Nickname: Skip 2 My Lou

    Rafer Alston's nickname came from his black top legend during the "And 1 Mixtape" era, but we really wish it had gone to someone a little more deserving.

    We don't think Alston was necessarily a terrible player—but with a nickname like that, it makes you think of breaking fool's ankles anytime they dare guard you.

Brooks Conrad

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    Nickname: Raw Dog

    For all the same reasons you probably love this nickname, we share the same sentiment because it is absolutely tops in sports—though some may disagree.

    Conrad earned it for batting without any gloves on, though we secretly wish it had a deeper meaning than that.

    Over the years we've seen the "Crime Dog" and the "Big Dog" for appropriate athletes, why couldn't we have gotten this one right?

Tyler Hansbrough

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    Nickname: Psycho T

    Close your eyes and picture what athlete represents the term "Psycho T" for a second, and see if the Pacers' Tyler Hansbrough is that guy.

    Chances are he's anything but.

    Yes, Hansbrough was one of the nation's best players while still in college at UNC, but we wish he retired this nickname for someone else to snatch it up.

    Hey, if Kobe can change his, Tyler Hansbrough certainly can.

Francisco Rodriguez

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    Nickname: K-Rod

    Man, Francisco Rodriguez used to be so damn good.

    Honestly, next to Mariano Rivera, there was a time when he was the last person an opposing batter wanted to see running in from the bullpen.

    After injuries derailed his dominance though, his nickname just kind of lost it's allure—though he did just get picked back up by the Brewers, so who knows if he can regain his form?

Freddie Mitchell

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    Nickname: Fred Ex

    As far as a play on words goes, Freddie Mitchell's nickname is absolutely one of our favorites.

    Used to describe the receiver as one who "always delivers," he basically caught one big catch in his career, and turned that into an extremely catchy nickname.

    What a wasted opportunity for any future athlete with the first name of "Fred" though.

Danny Woodhead

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    Nickname: White Chocolate

    Thankfully for sports fans, any white athlete who is exciting seems to get this nickname, so it's not like Danny Woodhead is the first or last that will probably earn it.

    It's just that when we think of chocolate, we imagine something sweet, smooth and always satisfying, so wouldn't this be more apropos for a guy like say, Dirk Nowitzki?

Darko Milicic

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    Nickname: Human Victory Cigar

    There's absolutely nothing about former No. 2 overall pick Dark Milicic that makes us think of celebrating.

    Commonly associated as being one of the biggest reaches (err, busts) in NBA history, he earned the name by being, well, a guy who comes off the bench during mop-up duty.

    So while he may be the definition of the term, we just don't think Milicic has done anything in his career to obtain a nickname.

Mark Sanchez

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    Nickname: The Sanchize

    We really wanted this one to work out for Mark Sanchez.

    Known as being the SoCal cool quarterback, had he somehow lifted his game to earn this nickname, it would have gone down as one of the best in sports history.

    As its unfolded for the Jets signal-caller thus far though, it's just one that we'd have reserved for another guy with the last name Sanchez—maybe even Freddy!

Dennis Scott

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    Nickname: 3D

    We get the irony of former NBA sharpshooter Dennis Scott's nickname.

    Not only was his jersey number three, but he also happened to camp out behind the three-point line, and fortunately for him had the first name of "Dennis," making this moniker almost too good to be true.

    In all fairness, Scott wasn't a terrible player, we're just a little bitter that someone who wasn't more dominating missed out on this nickname.

Brian Scalabrine

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    Nickname: The White Mamba

    For all the wrong reasons, Brian Scalabrine has this nickname.

    Sure, the former NBA forward was a delight to see when he ran to the scorer's table and tore away his warm-up suit, but to suggest he's Kobe's Caucasian counterpart is comical.

    It's all in good fun, so we get that, but dammit, we wish this had been reserved for someone who actually had Bryant's game.

    This is absolutely one of the greatest nicknames in sports—it's just too bad Scal owns it.

Rod Smart

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    Nickname: He Hate Me

    Before the since defunct Xtreme Football League (XFL) became just a figment of our imagination, we got to know Rod Smart.

    Fortunately for all of us, the league allowed players to use nicknames on their nameplates rather than just last names, making for a very interesting sight.

    Smart chose "He Hate Me," which is tremendous in our opinion.

    You win Rod Smart, we really do hate you for stealing this from a potentially great player.