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Like the Arizona Cardinals Larry Fitzgerald in this year's NFL playoffs, Derrick Rose is having a coming out party of his own so far in round one of the NBA playoffs. The Chicago Bulls point guard made his playoff debut a big one, scoring 36 points and adding 11 assists in their opening win over the Celtics.
But it was not until after the game when being interviewed by a locker room reporter that things got awkward. When asked how he felt about having such a big coming out party in his first game he replied with an answer that shocked everyone.
"It feels great, now that the whole world knows I'm gay!" Rose shouted, making everyone in the locker room stop and stare.
"What do you mean you're gay? That really wasn't what I meant..." continued the reporter.
"I'm gay, I'm so gay!" he replied. "You know that gay sex thing you always are hearing about with the p*nises and the b*tts and the whole deal? I love that stuff! It just feels so good to come out and say it, get it off my chest. You're so right! And you're throwing me a party for it? I hope there's a cake, and I hope it's shaped like the part of a man I love to eat in my bedroom as well...
"I've had to load up all this rap music on my iPod here just to fit in, but I really only listen to the Streisand and Cher I put on this thing. It just gets me charged up to get out there and commit a hard charging foul on another man!"
"Is there anything else you've been secretly wanting to tell the world, Mr. Rose?" asked the reported.
"Yes...There's something I've wanted to say since I first got here in Chicago..." began Derrick. "I want to redecorate this locker room! Makeover! The colors and furniture in here is so passe! And I want to put a nice set of drapes with a floral pattern on my locker, that would make it really pop. I've been wanting to tell everyone this all my life, but I never had the courage to just come out and do it. Thank you for the inspiration!"
"I...uh...actually didn't mean that kind of coming out party..." answered the reported.
"Huh...oh...well then...sh*t..." Rose hung his head and silently went to the showers, where everyone else on the team quickly fled.
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