Turnaround in Pittsburgh Led by Youthful GM Furdman

Mike SchoeffelContributor IApril 3, 2008

There are three necessities that make up an average college male’s life:

1. Girls
2. Alcohol
3. Parties       

But college is much more than that.  

Granted, while the three aforementioned topics do take up most of my time on the weekend, there are many times during the course of the week that I just get flat out bored.  I have tried many ways to counter my boredom.  First off, I started playing my guitar (notice I said GUITAR, not guitar HERO) a lot more often.  

After one particular "hardcore" jam session while my roommate was out, I snapped my B and E strings and haven't had the motivation nor the funds to replace them.  The next option I approached to appease my boredom was listening to massive amounts of music.  I made it my personal goal to memorize every lyric to the new Radiohead CD "In Rainbows".  

After many hours of constant listening, my ears began to bleed.  It was then I realized I needed to take up another hobby.  With the MLB season just beginning, I decided it was the perfect time to start up a franchise on MLB 2k7.  It turned out to be the perfect cure for my skull-numbing boredom.  Here is a rundown of how my franchise is going:       

First I had to pick a team.  I decided to go with the Pirates because they suck so something awful and I wanted to be remembered in Pittsburgh as the savior of the franchise.  Plus, there is the possibility that I could possibly have a statue erected in my honor.  Not to mention I love those new red uniforms.  

Then, after taking a glimpse at their anemic roster, I planned my course of action: the only way to turn this team around was a fantasy draft.  Ah, the beauty of sports video games. Next, I had to pick a name for my imaginary general manager.  After countless seconds of consideration, I decided to go with "Saucy" Sandy Furdman.  I thought it was a kick-ass name for a general manager, and the nickname "Saucy" only added to his appeal.  

Next, it was time for me to begin my fantasy draft. After the lottery, I ended up with the 9th pick in the draft.  Not too bad, I thought.

Deciding which players to pick was hard.  I not only had to pick players with good talent, but I also wanted a young, vibrant team that was full of spark.  Also I needed players that would fit in with Saucy Furdman's dictative personality.  Not to mention they had to be cheap.  

Here's how my team ended up:

1. Chone Figgins, 3B
2. Jose Reyes, 2B
3. Victor Martinez, C
4. Adam Dunn, LF
5. Nick Swisher, 1B
6. Chris Duncan, RF
7. Ryan Spilborghs, CF
8. Hanley Ramirez, SS

Bench - Chris Young (OF), Aaron Guiel (OF), Eric Dobbs (1B), John Buck (C), Dustin Pedroia (2B), Joey Gathright (CF), Ryan Garko (1B)

SP - Francisco Liriano, Chuck James, Daniel Cabrera, Jon Lester, Angel Guzman

RP - Ricardo Rincon, Wes Littleton, Kevin Correia, Juan Hasegawa, Chris Britton (SU), Taylor Tankersley (CL)        

My boys have been playing well together.  So far, our record sits at 36-29, one game behind those damn Red Birds for first place.  As I rule of thumb, I always pick one pitcher to play the games for, and the rest I simulate.  I decided to choose Jon Lester, and he has been my ace all year (8-2, 2.84 ERA).  

Victor Martinez is leading my team in hitting with a .320 average, and Nick Swisher has pounded out 17 home runs already.  My lefty closer Taylor Tankersley (21 saves) has been baffling teams all year with a nasty slide piece.  Looks like operation "Build Sandy Furdman a Statue" is well underway.        

Anyway, thank you for wasting 5 minutes of your life by reading this pointless article. As for me, I've got a weekend series in the Bronx coming up, so I'm out.