20 Footballers Who Famously Embarrassed Themselves

Charles Lawley@@charleslawleyContributor IApril 12, 2013

20 Footballers Who Famously Embarrassed Themselves

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    Despite his dreadful penalty effort resulting in Tottenham Hotspur being knocked out of the Europa League, Emmanuel Adebayor showed a remarkable lack of embarrassment last night.

    Fortunately the world of football is jam packed with other players who are willing to make complete idiots of themselves on the world stage and then want the ground to swallow them up, like The Dark Knight Rises was really happening.

    So here are 20 other footballers who have also embarrassed themselves.

Chris Brass

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    Gloves off. Let's get started with the funniest own goal of all time.

    Bury's Chris Brass tries to clear the ball by booting it over his head, but instead smashes it into his face causing it to fly into the back of his own net.

    Accidentally kicking the ball into your own face which then turns into an own goal. The only way it could have gone any worse would have been if the ball had decapitated him.

    However it's reasonable to assume that, at the time, Brass had wished the ball had decapitated him.

Peter Enckelman

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    It's a very tough job being a goalkeeper.

    But former Aston Villa Peter Enckelman made it look harder than it actually is.

    In England's "second city derby" with rivals Birmingham City, Villa defender Olof Mellberg took a throw-in back to his keeper, Enckelman, who tried to control the ball.

    But missed.

    And the ball trickled into the back of his own net.

    Under the rules of the game, a goal can't be scored by a throw-in so the goal shouldn't have stood, but Enckelman's devastated reaction convinced the referee that he had touched the ball and the goal was given.

    If he had just kept his cool it would have been forgotten about. But he didn't and, 11 years on, we're still laughing.

John Terry

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    Chelsea's captain, leader and legend had a chance to gift his beloved side their first ever Champions League win in 2008.

    However, when John Terry stepped up to take his penalty in the shootout with Manchester United he he slipped and fell on his bum.

    United would go on to lift the trophy and J.T. had a little cry.

Paul Gascoigne

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    Some say he was the most talented English player in football history.

    No one says he was the most talented English musician in pop history.

    In 1990, at the height of "Gazzamania" (that was when Paul Gascoigne was at his best, not a reference to his past mental states) he released "Fog On The Tyne."

    A song that tackled such issues as eating "sickly sausage rolls" and "Geordie boys" doing "alright".

Michael Duberry

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    The "perfect hat-trick" is when you score three goals, one with your right foot, one with your left foot and one with your head.

    Oxford United's Michael Duberry scored the "imperfect hat trick" against Hereford, an own goal with his left foot, an own goal with his head and finally a goal in the opposition's net with his right foot.

Tim Flowers

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    Usually the goalkeeper's enemy is the opposition strikers. In this 1996 Premier League match between Blackburn Rovers and Liverpool, Rovers keeper Tim Flowers was his own worst enemy. The ground beneath him didn't help, either.

    Flowers had been raking his foot across the turf, creating a dent in the pitch.

    But when a tame Stan Collymore shot was heading straight into Flowers' hands, it hit the dent he'd created and bounced over him.

    He then tried to make the dent bigger, so he could bury himself.

Fahad Khalfan

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    Qatar's Fahad Khalfan must have been distraught after this miss against Uzbekistan.

    The miss is so terrible it makes hitting a "cow's arse with a banjo" look like firing a proton torpedo into into the Death Star's small thermal exhaust port.

Jon Walters

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    Stoke City's Jonanthan Walters offered Michael Duberry a challenge for history's worst ever hat-trick.

    Walters managed two own goals and missed a penalty against Chelsea this year.

    Questions are going to start being asked if Abramovich puts a big money offer in for Walters this summer.

Gary Lineker

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    Let's not dress this up to be anything that it isn't. Gary Lineker soiled himself on the pitch while playing for England. He soiled himself.

    They are the facts, deal with them.

Shay Given

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    We've all heard of football's "pantomime villains."

    But another thing Shay Given wishes the beautiful game had borrowed from panto were the shouts of "he's behind you!"

    When playing for Newcastle United, Coventry City's Dion Dublin surprised him from behind (grow up).

Fernando Torres

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    Torres isn't here for just one terrible miss, he's here for a cacophony of terrible misses.

    He came to Chelsea from Liverpool for a British transfer record-breaking fee. He came with so much promise, to re-establish Chelsea as one of the Premier League's contenders. But instead his time at Stamford Bridge so far is more memorable for his prolific record of embarrassing misses than anything that even smells like scoring form.

    There has been some bad decisions made at Abramovich-era Chelsea, but buying Torres is proving to be the worst. Dictators of third world countries building palaces made out of gold and swan bone instead of schools have made more cost-efficient purchases.

Goran Rubil

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    Hadjuk Split's Goran Rubil with a sublime finish. Granted, it was in his own net. But still, a lovely strike.

    If Torres could do that, Benitez wouldn't have needed to have signed Demba Ba.

Rene Higuita

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    When Colombian goalkeeper Rene Higuita wasn't scorpion kicking or getting a perm, he was making a fool of himself while trying to live out his dreams of being an outfield player.

Chris Waddle and Glenn Hoddle

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    Two for the price of one.

    One audio travesty for the price of one music single.

    Two England legends, Chris Waddle and Glenn Hoddle, got together to record "Diamond Lights."

    The video was a fully impassioned Waddle and Hoddle singing under an arty spotlight while a woman dances in a ballet style around them, suggesting a love triangle.

    To quote The Football Ramble's Luke Moore,"I like it, because it doesn't take itself too seriously."

Ronny Rosenthal

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    This is the godfather of missing open nets.

    Liverpool's Ronny Rosenthal, when playing against Aston Villa in 1992, managed to knock the ball past the keeper with a beautiful first touch (which often gets overlooked, for reasons that will become obvious) and manages to find himself in front of an open net, on the penalty spot, with no one in front of him.

    It was so easy for him to score, but as is often the case with the footballers, he tried to do the more difficult thing and knock it over the bar.

    He succeeded and doubtlessly felt like a real winner afterwards.

Jamie Pollock

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    Scoring an own goal is bad enough.

    But when your own goal ends up relegating your team to English football's third tier, that's pretty embarrassing.

    Spare a thought for poor Jamie Pollock whose cracking header into his own net relegated his Manchester City side to what was then Division 2.

    The effort didn't go unnoticed. Fans of City's opponents that day, QPR (who, if they would have lost, would have been relegated instead), voted him the most important man of the past 2,000 years, with Jesus Christ coming in a distant second.

Khalid Askri

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    Moroccan goalkeeper Khalid Askri has gained a reputation for being very unlucky.

    But he must have felt like the top dog when he saved a penalty for FAR Rabat in a shootout in the 2009 Throne Cup semi-final. After saving the penalty Askri walked away, thumping his chest in celebration.

    The ball, however, thought he was acting a bit too confident and decided to take him down a peg or two and roll into the net as he walked off. Penalty scored. Goalkeeper distraught.

Kevin Keegan

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    It is probably possible to do a "20 Times Kevin Keegan Embarrassed Himself" list.

    That list would include the "Head Over Heels In Love" music video.

    The "I'd love it if we'd win" (and then they didn't) rant.

    The Brut advert.

    The mini-tantrum, throwing his shirt on the floor, after being sent off in a Charity Shield game against Leeds.

    And when he fell off of a bike.

    Kevin Keegan is the gift that keeps on giving.

Diana Ross

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    OK, Diana Ross wasn't a footballer. But after this miss in the 1994 World Cup Opening Ceremony, you can see why she wasn't.

    Just imagine for a second the social media explosion if Twitter was around at that moment. A "Diana Ross's right foot" parody account would have been created in seconds.