Hard Knock Life: Houston Astro Kaz Matsui

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As many of you have heard, Kaz Matsui is going to be out for a couple more weeks due to to ‘anal fissures.’

Every time someone writes that for someone to read on a teleprompter, they probably have to remove themselves from the room because of a giggle fit. I’ll even admit that I kind of lost it when I heard about it.

But the more I think about it, the more I have compassion for the guy.

He’s definitly the butt-end (pun subconsciously intended) of the MLB right now, and the worst part is that he probably does not understand what people are even talking about (he’s from Japan).

Poor guy. And that’s not even taking into account the pain he’s currently in. I cherish my bathroom breaks at work like a gift from God, and I couldn’t imagine that being ruined for me.

But it is for Kaz. Instead of comfortably reading People magazine (or some weird Japanese equivalent involving octopus porn), he’s screaming in traumatic pain.

All I’m saying is have a little compassion for the guy.

And stop spreading unkind rumors as to what caused these fissures. I’m sure there was nothing sexual in nature about it.

He was probably just working out really hard and some how hurt himself making a great diving catch and…scratch that.

Man, those Asians players are into some weird shit.